that when things seem to be going so well i feel so low. i mean, i don't have close friends were i live now, but i have some friends. i have meet a few girls. i like what i'm doing in class. i'm focused. but then, it just hits me. i'm lower than i've been in awhile. i feel scared to go out and talk to people. scared to keep my end up. i know that i have issues with connecting with people, i've never really understood why. i want to tell people what i think. and i do most times, until the ask about me. then its just . . . silence or lies. turn the subject around, try and make a joke. order a round. get a drink. i really just want to know, why don't i trust people?