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Why is living so easy for some people?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by downnout, Mar 7, 2008.

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  1. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    I was wondering about this for a while last night; Why are some people able to go birth to death without some sort of breakdown? Do they never get bored? Do they never look around? Do they never look inward? Do they have no conscience? I just don't get it.
  2. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    I don't think anyone on this forum can answer that, considering what this forum is :tongue:.

    Each person is different, you would just have to ask them I guess.
  3. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    lol, good point. I should have put this post in the 'vent' section. Sorries.
  4. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I know what you mean ... I often think of things like that ...
    I often think of what it'd be like to live without mild depression (and for me, it's just a case of mild depression .. it seems to have gotten better) etc, and think that it'd be exactly the same, merely without the incredibly low times :dunno:
  5. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    There are the people with strength, the people who accept themselves, and then the rest of us. People who suffer in life tend to look at the better offs and wonder "why me?".

    It is all a state of mind. It is your surroundings. If you find your own strength then you will live easier.
  6. It's a thoughtful question to be sure, though I prefer not to ask it myself. For when "comparing" people, it's really apples & oranges - or it seems "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".

    What I have remarked on though, observing others, is that after my having gone through some really unimaginable hell, and for too many years, surviving much of it but then eventually, inevitably falling/succumbing, those on the 'outside' could not identify. And all too often, their 'easy' answers or platitudes and optimism - given to me, were utterly ineffective when they themselves encountered some difficulty in their own lives. While I had endured repeated crises and traumas, it seems that all it took was one tragedy to completely unhinge/unnerve and shatter them.

    So, whether this sounds 'judgemental' or not (which I don't mean it to be, NOR cruel), it appears to me that those with the so-called "good life" often simply lived inside an illlusion. And it was really rather easily destroyed with but one encounter of "reality"...:sad:

    Furthermore, just as it appeared quite impossible for them to identify with my trials, when they did go through their own, they quite seemingly acted/felt as if they were the only ones who had ever suffered...

    People are odd, aren't they...
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2008
  7. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    Easy, they are extroverted and are continually looking outwards. The only time I feel sad is when I am completely alone and become introspective. If I could somehow spend more time with people I would, but it's just too draining
  8. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I think all people are generally struggling to survive on one level or another in whatever circumstances they find themselves in. They might not seem to have breakdowns, get bored etc but I bet there's a lot going on in their heads and they are just trying to keep a roof over their heads or keep up an acceptable front for others. I bet there are a lot of pressures they feel.

    Right now basic living (ie, food, sleep, rest, physical health) is a struggle for me but my mood is very good, I think. Sounds strange but that's just how it is.

    What is living anyway?

    People could look at my mother and me and think I'm a hopeless nut but I look at her and she's sick, she's struggling- her way of survival is denial.

    I think generally, everyone is sick. Even me. I've been born into a very sick world and am trying to make sense of it all, be aware of that sickness and most importantly not hurt anyone.
  9. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    Well I actually don't think anyone does go there whole life without going through hard times. Sure it may seem like some people have it so easy, and yes life is easier for some then others, but I think everyone who lives a long life goes through there rough spots. A lot of people either just hide it or don't talk about it.
  10. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    "Why is living so easy for some people?"

    i used to wonder that a lot.
    ive now given up on asking myself why.

    i cant understand it at all.
  11. bronwyyn

    bronwyyn Well-Known Member

    I SO know what you mean (esp about how draining it is to be around people). Introverted and highly intelligent people are far more prone to depression. That tells me that maybe our brains are too big for our own good. My shink tells me that I have no "defense mechanisms", that I am completely open to anything that hurts. She told me strait out that I am "incapable of lying to myself" and that people need to be able to lie to themselves to survive. I think that is a very wise thing to say. Often I see people who struggle through their whole lives (like my boyfriend) and can just keep going and never get depressed. I admire him so much and wish I could be more like him. He says that it's the luck of the Irish: You step in shit but at least you don't have your good boots on.

    So my answer to the original question is that I believe some people are just able to get through life better that us because they are able to lie to themselves. Others get through because the don't have severely bad things happen to them that causes them to look at reality in the way most of us here do.

    I am not an extremely religious person or anything, I call myself a Catholic witch. When I pray, I pray the prayer of St Francis, which the 'non-religious' culture would know as the serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage [and strength] to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I pray for wisdom to temper my intelligence. I believe that truly wise people can live in this world in peace.
  12. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    I read that 50% of happiness comes from genetic factors, the other 50% is from external factors. When you think about it, 50% is a huge percentage considering it comes from nothing but your biology. Some people are literally born to be happier and more productive than others.
  13. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    This is a bit of stereotyping. Someone who is shy, antisocial and unhappy is not necessarily more intelligent than someone who is outgoing and happy. There are many geniuses in the world who are extroverted, the size of their brains is not hindering their quality of life.
  14. bronwyyn

    bronwyyn Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way at all. I wasn't trying to sterotype or say that ALL people are anything. I hate generalizations, and I understand why you took what I wrote the wrong way. I was just saying that I had done some research and found that intelligence can be a factor of depression - not a reason, and certainly not THE reason.
  15. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    I totally, totally agree with your post and it is SO true x

    Its all about what youre used to.. if you have always lived a difficult life, something that seems like another "little" crisis to you might be totally shattering for those who hardly ever knew trouble. Its all about the life you know, youre used to and familiar with.
  16. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    This is gonna be a hard reply to write (mostly because my brain is fried by recent assignments), but I feel a need to reply to this thread and I hope my reply won't generate any bad feelings towards me.

    I am, as many people on this site know, a self-confessed 'happy' person, thus, I am able to address the thoughts on those who go through life without depression.

    I make friends easily and am a naturally affectionate person, but I am not extroverted - I am in fact incredibly shy, and pretend to be confident. I go to university (an English student) and sure, I have friends, but a night out for me is a no-no. I have anxieties about being out late and something bad happening to me, about people talking about me behind my back, about failing my course, about having no money, and so on. I believe that the way I get through these without driving myself crazy with worry is that I live partly in the 'future', and partly in the 'now'.

    My future is uncertain, and I know it. I have my basic guideline for what I want, but I know that is subject to change. Everything can change. My 'now' is more sure, and passes from minute to minute into the 'past', which I try not to think on. 'Now' can be full of laughter or have me wondering, insecurely, why people like me at all and if those people chatting to me are really as good friends as they seem. I can go from worry to relief in moments (it's as easy as handing in an assignment on time!), but I think what gets me through is Hope, and passion for the things I love doing.

    I'm not certain what it is that separates those who 'cope' from those who don't. Perhaps it's something to do with the level of suffering and what they go through in their life (I can hardly claim that my life has been hard).

    However... I am able to empathise. Not having had overwhelming difficulty in my life doesn't mean I can't lend a helpful and sympathetic ear when someone needs to talk. There are some who drift through life seemingly having everything handed to them, but those are the rare few - many people have to work hard and the sense of accomplishment at achievement is one thing that keeps people like that, people like me, going.

    Sorry to ramble and I may have gone completely off-topic, but I wanted to try and get my own point across here.
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I guess I can have a go at this question since I'm not struggling with depression/suicide. Everyone has times when things will get difficult. As a teacher, there are all sorts of things that I have to worry about. I just try not to let these challenges get the better of me. I have went through difficult times in my life too. Life wasn't always enjoyable, but I just refused to let myself get depressed. I just kept doing things that I enjoy doing and believed that things would get better. And eventually they did. What keeps me going is my strong desire to help people. Helping others helps me feel better about myself. It also helps me to realize that my life has a purpose to it, especially during the hard times. Hope this helps. :hug:
  18. bronwyyn

    bronwyyn Well-Known Member

    I do the same thing. I love to help others and take care of them. All my friends say that I'm the "mommy" of us all, even though I don't have kids. I especially love taking care of men. I'm a great housewife... it's my ideal job. My problem is that I can take care of others, but not myself. My boyfriend can't understand how I can take care of him so well and not myself. I guess every gift comes with a curse.
  19. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    <<Easy, they are extroverted and are continually looking outwards. The only time I feel sad is when I am completely alone and become introspective. If I could somehow spend more time with people I would, but it's just too draining>>

    I have the same problem.

    Thanks for all of the replies!
  20. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    I know that statement's been debated well already, but I'd have to agree. Not that all geniuses are depressed or introverted, but that that combination is often pretty lethal.

    <<I pray for wisdom to temper my intelligence. I believe that truly wise people can live in this world in peace.>>

    I think that's beautiful.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 11, 2008
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