I don't know why, but almost my whole family acts as if they hate me.
My Mom constantly says she hates me, but treats me like a daughter the next day. It doesn't help that she drinks, which may be the main factor since she acts like herself when she is sober. But she has had her days when she was mean when she was sober.
My grandma only gets especially mean when she drinks, so again the drinking factor. My uncle just absolutely hates me because I can't see things his way and support him even though he is on one of the most destructive path's I've ever seen.
They call me useless, tell me I don't know anything because of how old I am. They say I don't do anything for this family and only care for myself. But they are wrong, I've sacrificed so much for them. I don't even have any more friends coming over because I am just so afraid of them seeing what I have to deal with or them getting insulted themselves. My Mom and Grandma make fun of the friends I have online, of whom has been more supportive of me than my own family.
I just don't understand. I mean, I stand up for myself, maybe I might be a bit too bossy? I get horribly overwhelmed when people start screaming and I guess that just triggers something in me that wants to prove them wrong but also defend myself. But isn't that a natural reaction?
My grandma blames the Anti-Depressants that I use for the way that I am expressing myself. But that just isn't it! I am getting so sick and tired of people constantly downgrading me. I do it so much to myself, so I don't need it from them! And when I do stand up and point out their faults, they call me psychotic, crazy and that I need mental help.
Do I? Because at this point, I don't even know anymore.
My Mom constantly says she hates me, but treats me like a daughter the next day. It doesn't help that she drinks, which may be the main factor since she acts like herself when she is sober. But she has had her days when she was mean when she was sober.
My grandma only gets especially mean when she drinks, so again the drinking factor. My uncle just absolutely hates me because I can't see things his way and support him even though he is on one of the most destructive path's I've ever seen.
They call me useless, tell me I don't know anything because of how old I am. They say I don't do anything for this family and only care for myself. But they are wrong, I've sacrificed so much for them. I don't even have any more friends coming over because I am just so afraid of them seeing what I have to deal with or them getting insulted themselves. My Mom and Grandma make fun of the friends I have online, of whom has been more supportive of me than my own family.
I just don't understand. I mean, I stand up for myself, maybe I might be a bit too bossy? I get horribly overwhelmed when people start screaming and I guess that just triggers something in me that wants to prove them wrong but also defend myself. But isn't that a natural reaction?
My grandma blames the Anti-Depressants that I use for the way that I am expressing myself. But that just isn't it! I am getting so sick and tired of people constantly downgrading me. I do it so much to myself, so I don't need it from them! And when I do stand up and point out their faults, they call me psychotic, crazy and that I need mental help.
Do I? Because at this point, I don't even know anymore.