Why is so hard to socialize?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by sucidalgirl99, Nov 6, 2009.

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  1. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I tried to invite people to go bowling, but they asked for the date and didn't know, so they never gave me a yes or no. A lot of friends drifted away frome me since middle school, and some have drifted from me now. I get bad vibes from people, and some people tend to be weird.
    I feel like I should give up trying.
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    It's common to drift apart from classmates. Maybe you need to branch out and look elsewhere?
  3. suicider628

    suicider628 Well-Known Member

    at least u had friends....
  4. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I didn't drift away from them though;they drifted from me.
    I plan on taking classes and stuff, so I'll branch out soon.
  5. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    That's true, but it still hurts.
  6. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I know it can be hard for some people, but generally it's quite easy to talk to someone you know and say 'hows it going?' and start a conversation. If its hard, then you should be doing it even more, so you get better at it. And like shock said, its common to drift apart from classmates, and i thank it was you who drifted from them as well, it isn't all their fault. It's hard to keep in contact with your school friends after school when you move and such, and it gets harder with time. Don't blame them, make new friends (you don't have to lose the old ones).

    And don't say I don't understand, because I've been there. Like all things, it gets easier with practice.
  7. frail

    frail Member

    Heh, I'm really wondering that too. Why is it so darned hard to socialize?

    I've never had many friends at all and as a child I was terribly scared of other boys my age. Then I met this one person at hich-school and we just klicked. Well, he practically taught me how to get along with people, even if he didn't know that. I just saw how open he was towards other people and I thoutht: "Yeah, I wish I was like him". So I managed to break from my shell for a few years.

    But then my friendship with him took a wrong turn somewhere and I lost once again the ability to get along with other people. Stuff just happened, I guess: I started spending days in my own room - soon days would turn to weeks and so on. And now I'm at the point in my life when I know that I just need to do something about this freaking thing or I'll end up spending the rest of my life alone in my own room.

    So I try, and I thought maybe I could start by seeking e-mail pals, at least it's much easier that way than the alternatives: go to a bar alone and hope that someone notices you (tried it once and it sucked really bad!).

    Someone also suggested starting a new hobby like some fitness thing where I could meet new people, but I am not at all certain that I could meet new people just like that... Well, who knows, maybe I'll try that next year.

    So all in all, I'm dumbfounded when it comes to making new friendships, I fear that my fear towards other people has taken a hold of me and yeah, it sucks. So I'm sorry that I cannot help you. Maybe someone else could help us both...
  8. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    Thank you!
  9. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    It's ok, I enjoy listening to relatable stories. Feel free to PM me sometime if you would like.
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I used to be really sociable but as time has gone along and I have become more and more solitary, I find myself actually being scared of people! I think I have almost lost my ability to socialise and I don't know what to say to people anymore or how to be around them.

    I think it's something we learnt as children and growing up and I think it's probably something we just have to re-learn by putting ourselves into social situations. We'll mess up a few times at first I'm sure but eventually we'll meet people who 'get us'. Because just as I believe there's someone for everyone in terms of relationships, I believe the same about friendships. :)

    I'd advise everyone to try things like meet up.com. It's a really good way to make friends with similar interests.
  11. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    you're around that age where everyone starts changing in different ways, and they get interested in other stuff, other people. it happens to everyone. ;/
  12. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I'm the same way, thanks I may give it a try.
  13. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    That's my point exactly.
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