Why is there ALWAYS something?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cult logic, May 29, 2009.

  1. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    It is SO ridiculous.

    Ever since the 5th grade. Problem after problem. And they only seem to get worse.

    The year was awful. Failing out of school. Depressed. Attempting suicide multiple times.

    Then, it starts to lighten up a little. I start to feel a bit better about myself. Get some self-confidence. My school I'd even medically excusing me to save my GPA. On top of it I have a breakthrough with my therapist.

    Everything is great. What can go wrong?

    The stupidest thing ever, that's what. I run across a video that makes me question my sexuality.




    Why me? Why does this have to happen now?

    Everything was great. OF ALL THE DAMN TIMES!

    I just don't win. Ever.

    I would just like ONE time in my life with no problems.

    I want to understand me.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    For me, I used to keep the unrest going because it was what I knew and to not have it in the foreground made me very frightened...I created the 'alway something' perception until I could deal with the 'I don't know what's coming one"...just my 2 sense (?)...big hugs, J
  3. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    It was 300 wasnt it? I dont blame you, that Gerard Butler is a VERY sexy man. I think he might have turned me gay...
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    But of all the problems to pop up!

    It just seems so ridiculous. Why now?

    Why not when I was 12? Why not a year ago? A year in the future?

    It's so stupid!

    I could deal with it any other time. Just not now. :sad:

    And maaso that made me laugh. :smile:
  5. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Well nothing is ever perfect and oddly enough it's the questioning ourselves that makes life interesting.

    If you knew all the answers and your life was nothing but peaceful you would get bored of it eventually. A little suffering now and then keeps you alive.
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    You know what Brandon I've questioned my sexuality countless times, especially in my teens, I went through some crazy confused times between about 11 - 16, my hormones were raging like nothing else (this is not me saying it's just your hormones btw! Just saying how it was for me) and, you know what, every now and again, I find myself questioning it even now, but I know that I'm still attracted to men.
    All you have to do is sit down with yourself and say 'okay, am I genuinely attracted to the same sex? Can I see myself falling in love with and being with someone of the same sex for the rest of my life?'. If the answer is no and it was just a physical attraction then likelihood is you're totally straight.

    I mean, I look at Lauren London sometimes and think WHOA! Yes please. But I wouldn't want to marry the girl! :)
    You know what also, I think a lot of people occasionally feel a really strong attraction to somebody of the same sex (my older brother once went on a little bit TOO much about how great Will Smith was for a long time back in the 90s) and I do the same with people like Tina Fey, I think she's awesome. We just refer to it as Bromance and Girl Crushes. lol.

    I think as we got older I realised it was more about that particular person, than women on the whole.

    Do you think it runs deeper than that though? Only you can answer of course.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2009
  7. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure of your values when it comes to sexuality...but I'm pretty ambiguous when it comes to taht lol. I'm almost exclusively attracted to females (I'm a male) but I'm not afraid of a homosexual experience, and if I become attracted to a guy then it's not a big deal to me.
    Maybe you should consider that? Consider that humans as animals are one of the few disposed to homosexuality, so such feelings are actually quite natural.
  8. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    It wasn't so much questioning as a sudden realization, really.

    It just all made sense.

    I thought I was attracted to girls but when I looked at a guy that way I figured out what actually being really sexually attracted to someone is like.

    Could I see myself being with a guy the rest of my life? It seems a little strange to me now as this is all new to me but, yes, yes I could.

    As for my values I have no problem with gays or with being gay. I just want to know.