Why is there always the fear!!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Pebble, Feb 28, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I hate this, I know what I want and that is to not be here any longer but I think the only thing stopping me is the fact that I may get it wrong - I'm a coward but I do not want to be here afterwards, I want my actions to be final and bring the result I want - but not what the best way to achieve this is! I hate the fact that part of me is scared - can't even get part of my own mind to fully understand :-( I know people would all be better off without me being around,especially my family I just wish I had a guarenteed way of achieving the result I want. My family would go mental if they knew I was unhappy again and would tell me I'm being selfish - which I am because I can't even find the right way to leave properly!!
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    First of all I do not think you are a coward at all. To me it takes guts and strength to both live and to commit. You have voiced the biggest problem with trying to kill yourself... you may fail and end up worse off then when you started....or worse yet you succeed.

    You feel that people don't care and would be better off but I would suggest that this is your sadness, pain and depression speaking to you because it is simply not true. If you doubt me go ask them or go visit the web page for Parents of Suicide and read what the parents have to say about their lost loved ones.

    I am here if you need to talk...I sure would like to know more about you and why you feel that your problems are best solved but "checking out" so to speak...we are here to help so please let it all out and allow us to support you.

  3. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I second that. Please talk to us, Pebble!
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You want the pain to end the sadness You are right to fear being left even worse off then your attempt. Most attempts end in person causing more damage and pain to themselves. You need to talk to someone about your pain to a professional to people here get talking so someone can help you heal. There is help out there so reach out like you are doing here and get some help for you okay. You deserve to be happy please reach out to start healing you now.
  5. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I am selfish though because the only reason why I'm scared of it not working is because I don't want to end up being around to have my parents hating me because they are angry with me. They don't understand, I just want someone to tell me its ok to go then I'l be gone straight away with out any worries. Part of me must be in wise mind about my actions else I suppose I would have done something already - I just feel like I'm on survival mode - but I have no energy left and am falling. I want to be able to tell someone how I feel as can't take this much more but I'm so afraid that if I tell my cpn my thoughts, plans and how I feel that she'l do something I dont want her to do. I don't want to end up being locked in a hospital. I'm so afraid that she'l tell someone.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.