Why is there no one?

#1
OK, My exgirlfriend and I broke up.. ehh Ill say about 2 months ago. Im ok with that, it's all fine and dandy, we were doomed any way. We were together for two and a half years and it was the typical start off strong then that fades to fighting and all that jazz. But like I said Im ok with, more annoyed that she still has my stuff than anything.
The reason we broke up is because we had pretty opposite views of life. Shes Christian, I am not. She waanted to wait 'til marriage for sex, that was groovy with me, as long as we had some sort of affection... Although she wasn't always like that, we were ready she even said if I got a job we could, so naturally, being a 20 yr old male, I did. Then she changed her mind and I felt she led me on but I got over it. No biggie.
Fast forward about 8 months and we are constantly fighting. Over stupid things. Now, at this point there is no affection at all. There never was really any ever, just making out and '2nd base' but that was it. But now that was gone, resentment comes along. It started eating at me and eating at me. She thought thats all I wanted, which wasn't true but I can understand. This goes on for the remainder of the relationship until the end.
And Im ok with it. I mean, I still love her, but I know we are just too different. But my problem now is that I cant stand being single, which is weird cause a 21 yr old dude is supposed to be having the time of his life and I am not. Im too self conscious too just do casual sex. The reason being is that I have scars all over my back and chest, not due to abuse or anything. I guess god wanted to do it, I dont know. I never take my shirt off and I dont let people touch my back. Im too scared of being mocked and judged.
I just want someone that has my same interests and doesnt care about my scars. And Im afraid Ill never meet anyone like that, cause Im too scared to try. I dont even know how to talk to girls in a 'hey im interested in you' type way. Im scared that my ex will be the only one that doesnt care about it but we are just too different. I really dont know what to do anymore.

Yes, part of it is that I want sex, but I mainly want someone that shares my interests in life and my views on the world.

I want a companionship most of all.

**im not expecting anyone to read this because its so long. I just needed to vent. Sorry for my mini novel I just wrote.
 

Speedy

Staff Alumni
#2
I read the whole thing. I know that it's upsetting that it didn't work out with your ex, and since you want a companionship.. I hope you start dating someone new soon! :) It might fill a void in your life, and you can see whether she is the one!

Good luck!

:hug:
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$135.00
Goal
$255.00
Top