What the fuck is wrong with the universe or God or eternity. What is the point of this fear, anxiety, loneliness, anguish, pain... fuck. No one should feel this way. I tried everything. I've resolved to do everything. I resolved to only serve others, only think of others. The pain won't go away. I am SO sorry. My mind has accepted the end, it only wants the rest, and peace. But my body is a dumb machine that goes on like nothing. It needs to shut down and return me gently to dust.
Why is there people like us??
- Thread starter ramicule
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I agree that nobody should feel this way. When you say you have tried everything, what do you mean by that? As in every med, every therapy? It can take a long time to find the right ones for you, years even but I agree no one should have to put up with these feelings but suicide is not the answer to anything. Hugs to you :hug:
Man... I wish I had a dollar every time that very phrase went through my head. Why? What purpose does it serve? Are the feelings of wanting to end our lives some kind of mechanism to keep from passing this defect on? (if so I have screwed that up twice.) In another twist of irony... I was quite close to ending my life, was able to delay that and a couple of weeks later found out that my wife has cancer. Well WTF??? I was supportive and told her we would fight this head on, but a little later was thinking, "what I wouldn't do trade places with her." She doesn't deserve this and I badly wanted to die just a few weeks ago. Makes me think of the Depeche Mode lyric- "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors but I think that God has a sick sense of houmor, and when I die, I expect to find him laughing."
You're right. Nobody should have to suffer mentally. Sad truth is a lot of us do though. I suppose that's the reason that so many commit suicide. I just wish that I had the balls to do something because I'm so tired of suffering. I don't understand either why my body keeps going when my mind feels so messed up.
Approximately 20% of all people have experienced a period of diagnosed mental illness at some point in their life as an adult, and among children it is nearly 50%. ( http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-mental-illness-ami-among-adults.shtml )
While it feels horrible and impossible, the fact is it is very common. 4 of the 10 most prescribed drugs in the world are for the treatment of mental illnesses. One of the things that makes mental illness feel so difficult is the perception that you are alone, nobody cares, or that nothing can help. The fact is it is incredibly common, more people than not have had it at some point in their life as an adult or child, and treatment works in over 80% of cases to either "dramatically reduce" or eliminate symptoms. Places like this website tend to obscure the fact that it is very treatable because we tend to accumulate more members that fall into that small category of people that do not respond as well as most to treatment.
If you eliminate alcohol and drug abuse or self medication, then success in treating mental illnesses like depression and anxiety tops over 95%. Basically, particularly with depression, no matter what one is taking for an anti depressant , it cannot make up for a daily dose of a strong depressant like alcohol as well. For anxiety, marijuana which has a side effect of causing paranoia and anxiety, renders most actual treatments useless.
The point? It sucks having depression , anxiety, or any any other mental illness but if you manage to push beyond the false perception that the mental illness causes it is very treatable and there is a way out of the darkness into a better life. It has nothing to do with "life situation" usually - getting girlfriends, boyfriends, different jobs, more friends ,or having a history of past abuse does not change the treatment and outcome. As soon as a person realizes they are treating an illness and treat it like an illness instead of believing that the life situation is to blame and cannot be helped, treatment is exponentially more effective (with anxiety and depression many find this the most important part of getting better- as well as the the most difficult- understanding it is a thing by itself and not the natural result of their life so they can focus their efforts in the right place).
Ii does not explain the why people have it , it does not make it fair. I have no comment about god or the universe. Just that it can and does get better for nearly all and the sooner it is treated correctly the faster it gets better (just like any other physical disease- the earlier treatment starts the more effective and shorter the course of treatment).
While it feels horrible and impossible, the fact is it is very common. 4 of the 10 most prescribed drugs in the world are for the treatment of mental illnesses. One of the things that makes mental illness feel so difficult is the perception that you are alone, nobody cares, or that nothing can help. The fact is it is incredibly common, more people than not have had it at some point in their life as an adult or child, and treatment works in over 80% of cases to either "dramatically reduce" or eliminate symptoms. Places like this website tend to obscure the fact that it is very treatable because we tend to accumulate more members that fall into that small category of people that do not respond as well as most to treatment.
If you eliminate alcohol and drug abuse or self medication, then success in treating mental illnesses like depression and anxiety tops over 95%. Basically, particularly with depression, no matter what one is taking for an anti depressant , it cannot make up for a daily dose of a strong depressant like alcohol as well. For anxiety, marijuana which has a side effect of causing paranoia and anxiety, renders most actual treatments useless.
The point? It sucks having depression , anxiety, or any any other mental illness but if you manage to push beyond the false perception that the mental illness causes it is very treatable and there is a way out of the darkness into a better life. It has nothing to do with "life situation" usually - getting girlfriends, boyfriends, different jobs, more friends ,or having a history of past abuse does not change the treatment and outcome. As soon as a person realizes they are treating an illness and treat it like an illness instead of believing that the life situation is to blame and cannot be helped, treatment is exponentially more effective (with anxiety and depression many find this the most important part of getting better- as well as the the most difficult- understanding it is a thing by itself and not the natural result of their life so they can focus their efforts in the right place).
Ii does not explain the why people have it , it does not make it fair. I have no comment about god or the universe. Just that it can and does get better for nearly all and the sooner it is treated correctly the faster it gets better (just like any other physical disease- the earlier treatment starts the more effective and shorter the course of treatment).
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