What the fuck is wrong with the universe or God or eternity. What is the point of this fear, anxiety, loneliness, anguish, pain... fuck. No one should feel this way. I tried everything. I've resolved to do everything. I resolved to only serve others, only think of others. The pain won't go away. I am SO sorry. My mind has accepted the end, it only wants the rest, and peace. But my body is a dumb machine that goes on like nothing. It needs to shut down and return me gently to dust.