Hang in there!
I know exactly how you feel. I'm constantly haunted by my own irrational and weird thoughts. Sort of unrelated to suicide, but still in the same boat, but I just woke up from a dream that involved Jimmy Kimmel lying nude on a couch (like that scene with Rose in the movie 'Titanic'). Just all around very weird thoughts entering and leaving my brain at all times during the night and day.. :dry: