I used to think that I was so strong. Everyone leans on me. I'm willing to help ANYBODY. But now I'm overruled by these thoughts... Why are they even crossing my mind? Am I that weak? I'm petrified by my own thoughts... is there only one way to make them stop?
Hang in there!
I know exactly how you feel. I'm constantly haunted by my own irrational and weird thoughts. Sort of unrelated to suicide, but still in the same boat, but I just woke up from a dream that involved Jimmy Kimmel lying nude on a couch (like that scene with Rose in the movie 'Titanic'). Just all around very weird thoughts entering and leaving my brain at all times during the night and day.. :dry:
I do understand how difficult that is...for me, the road was therapy and medication...it varies for others...I hope you do consider some type of support that may be helpful for you..please PM me if I can be there for you...J