All that I can feel is emotional pain and numbness. What do I do to feel better? I cut myself. It's the only thing that makes me feel alright right now. My mind is clouded by suicidal thoughts and when I cut myself it clears up for a short time. It's like...everything is numb until I cut myself, then I feel like things will be okay for a short time. All I can think about is suicide, so I cut myself to get clarity. Why is this the only thing that makes me feel "normal"? I don't understand. Things didn't used to be like this, I never used to self-harm and now I can't stop. All I want is for the pain and the numbness to go away, but it feels like only suicide would cure that. This really doesn't make sense to me, how is it that hurting myself is the only thing that lessens the constant pain? I'd really like to understand this strange situation.