I want to be able to shut myself off from people. Completely. Just disappear off the face of the planet. Thats the only thing i want to be able to do but i can't because i gotta be there for other people. Im caught in the middle and i cant get out. I told someone i wouldn't die. The things is right now i do wanna die. I wanna die so damn badly! really realy really badly :sad: I just wanna go through with my plan. Absolutely no one knows about my plan. No one ever will. How the hell can i tell someone over and over that im not gonna die and want to so damn badly. How pathetic does that make me? I care about people here so much. I know how much certain people were hurt by suicide and deaths of people. But a part of me just feels like one day i will just flip out as per usual and go through with it. The last week i've speant most of my time in my room. In bed. In the dark. Sometimes talking to people. Other times just sitting there, staring, thinking. Wondering how i shouldn't be here. How bloody pathetic is that. I've got an essay due in tomorrow and its taken me nearly an hour to write one sentence. Thats how bad i can't concentrate. Im so tired. But i sleep all day. and then another one for wednesday. and then another 2 that we're due in liek 2 weeks ago. and then another that i failed that i need to correct. Sooo yeah basically im SCREWED. I wanna quit so damn badly because i cant take the stress anymore. There aint no point anymore. Im seriously considering my existence on this planet right now.