why isn't it okay?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by emily83, Sep 15, 2016.

  1. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    why isn't it okay that i want to commit suicide?

    i'm done, i'm done with everything (my lack of a life, my multiple diagnoses, all the shit of the world) and people won't let me?

    they choose to say oh think of your family, think of your friends... what friends, and what family. the family that tried to kill me- then found out i was bipolar and told me i couldn't belong to the family anymore?

    yeah good work

    i know people mean well, but guys, i'm done. seriously. stop asking to me to live for nothing (or at least if you ask and care, help me!)
     
    Thauoy likes this.
  2. Moon_Penguin

    Moon_Penguin Penguin astronaut extraordinaire

    I'm sorry you feel this way. No one deserves to feel like that. But your not done yet. You might feel it but your not. Your asking for help by posting on here. We can help. We can talk about what is happening. We can help untangle your mind and emotions and explore your feelings. You are not alone in feeling like this.

    Im not asking you to live for nothing. Im asking you to live for you. You are unique. Everything from your life experiences (the good and the bad), your character to your DNA. There will never be a YOU again. That is why you must stay. Because a world needs you. We need every individual. Do you have a cousellor? Anyone to talk to?

    Keep safe
     
  3. Miltons4l

    Miltons4l Member

    Sorry that you feel that way, but remember that there's only one YOU in the entire universe! You shouldn't have to live for others, but you should live for yourself. It's too bad that you feel the way you're feeling, but the fact that you can feel or think or be self aware at all is rather amazing. Your consciousness is proof that you have the capacity to feel good, or at least much better than you're feeling now.
    Please hang in there. :)
     
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hey moon penguin,

    thanks!.

    it was only in april i was in hospital for taking my own life (again), making a total of 6 times- 4 of those coming extremely close

    I have very few people to talk to- bearing in mmind my family abandoned me and the only friends i have happen to be online

    it was only a few days ago it crossed my mind that i used to post a lot on here, and wondered if i still had my acount, ta-da, i actually do. a lot has changed on here since i last logged in. wow

    I do have my therapist, but fat lot of good she is when i only see her once a week

    thanks for your response. it's difficult to realise that you're wanted, when you have nothing to live for- nothing.
     
  5. Moon_Penguin

    Moon_Penguin Penguin astronaut extraordinaire

    Theres never nothing. You may feel theres nothing, but thats your illness talking. You can push through it and see your worth.

    Remember, only during the darkest hours can you see the stars shine the brightest. Keep looking for those stars.
     
  6. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Hello Emily, I am Mox

    Welcome back to SF. Thank you for sharing your story with us. If you get really, really bored, you can read my story below in green. Just know that when you are here you are safe. We accept you just as you are. No one will judge you. No one will ridicule you. Here you are safe, you are with friends.

    It saddens me that you have tried so many times to end your life. My dear, what is going on with you , to cause you that much pain? Will you please share your burden with me? You are not alone in this anymore, you have me =)

    Just know that we will never abandon you. You are one of us. The fact that you have a mental health disorder , is ok. It is not a crime. You have a very real illness that you need help with. That is perfectly fine. It really saddens me that your family abandoned you over your illness. I could never imagine abandoning my daughter, ever. For what it is worth , I have zero in real life friends. All of my friends are here on this website.

    I am glad that you are seeing a therapist. May I ask , if you are seeing a psychiatrist for medication to help you deal with your mental illness?

    Please feel free to PM/IM me anytime , if you want to chat. I love to chat.

    Take Care
     
  7. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way, nothing ever cured my depression, and I only stay alive for my mother. But I just want to disappear.