Why it suks to be gay sometimes...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by 1izombie, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I like who I am, I like being gay, it adds so much to my life that I wouldn't want to be any other way but.....there are times when I just wish I wasn't gay, there are times when I feel it sucks to be gay, that it's just to hard..... Like there is this guy who works at a subway at my work and well I kind of got this vibe from him a while back that maybe he was gay and that maybe he was like interested in me..... which is rare for me to feel that anyone would be interested in me all but anyways....So for the last little while I keep on going to this subway at my work in hopes that one day I will get the courage to ask him out. Yet every time I go I never find the right moment to ask him. Like there always someone else in line ordering or his co-worker is there and I feel to scared or embarrassed to ask in front of other people cause I'm gay. Like if I were straight I don't think it wold be as big a deal, and well there is always the fact the he may not even be gay, which could very well be the case. So I'm constantly struggling with trying to find the right moment to ask him and struggling with weather or not he is gay and well I just think it would be so much easier if I were straight......I don't know if it's this hard for straight people but I just feel you have an easier time at it and well I guess I'm jealous of that fact...... It's kind of funny cause I really don't like subway yet I keep on going there....oh well
  2. Regenesis

    Regenesis Well-Known Member

    Why don't you ask him about past relationships?And if he mentiones women,then ask him if he ever kissed a guy(but make it look like a joke).After that,look at how he reacts.He may be gay,but deny it because he might think you are not gay.But if you will watch him carefully,I think you will make an opinion if he is gay or at least bisexual.
  3. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Yeah straight people have it so easy! With them it's a simple question. Will you go out with me? But for gay people you have to ask if the person is gay or bi before you can ask the date question. It's so stupid....

    But If you really feel he's interested in you and you keep on going there just to see him perhaps you should just ask one of his friends about his sexual orientation or you could try a general friendship and see if it gets past just being friends. Don't rush, you have to be patient. Best of luck.
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    It's tough. Especially when some people have such archaic and barbaric assumptions about gay people (gay men usually). If he seems like a nice person you could just ask him. If he's cool he'll be more flattered than offended, even if not gay.
  5. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    A straight guy being flattered? :laugh:
    Most straight guys would get offended.
    But eh men are just more intolerant, so yeah it's scary.
  6. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Not here in California.


    Of course, I'm from LA and right now live close to San Francisco.
  7. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Ugh well then depends on if the guy is metrosexual. :laugh:
    But eh I tend to get attracted to rugged men..... with sexy facial hair.
  8. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the advice and support I really needed that today......I'm really feeling like shit and well I feel a bit better now after reading this....Thanks

  9. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    So I asked him out and like I totally feel like an idiot now....I don't know why I always do this to myself but what I fucking loser I am. I've never felt sooooo embarrassed as I feel now...man that was a mistake and i knew it yet I couldn't stop myself from doing it.....god I just want to die right now....I want to find a dark corner and crawl in there and hide and just die.....why am I such a loser!!!! Being gay fucking sicks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    Sorry to hear Steve. You aren't a loser. You did a very brave thing.
  11. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Why do I feel like such a fool then....I mean I guess it was brave but if it was stupid to do in the first place doesn't that make it foolish even if it was brave???.....god I just want to die now....
  12. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You know, i am a homophobic, i dont like gays at all
    but i must admit, your thread forced me into rethinking the whole approach i have towards gays...
  13. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    That's cool... just curious how has it changed....I hope positively....
  14. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    yeah positively, you showed in this thread 1 thing i never would of think it possible
  15. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    Can I ask what that is????
  16. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well, i tend to look on things from many directions
    and i never would of imagine, how its like for gay people to find each other
    or to find love, or relations...

    even though i always knew that gay people are same as any other person
    with one exception..
    I always assumed that gays only care about sex, without feelings.
    obviously i was wrong, and gays are not just about physical attraction
    i know it sound stupid but i never actually though about the emotional part of gay relations
    i based my hatred on my views of gay physical relations
    while i totally ignored the emotional part

    it may look offensive but just for the example of how i saw it:
    pedophiles say they love kids, but it is only about physical attraction
    no emotions there, and i assumed gays are the same.

    as i said, looks like i was wrong, your words changed my view on gays
    even though they had nothing to do with people such as me.
    now that i can add emotional part to the whole picture it really changes the whole picture

    i think i just discovered why, at least some, tend to hate gays...
    and with a deeper understanding, somehow, i see you as a person
    a person just like me, who can love, and to feel what a broken heart is.

    i know it sounds very stupid, but that is actually what i thought
    and its not like im stupid, in fact many people told me im intelligent
    anyways from now on, my views on gays had been changed, thanks to you.
    there is only 1 question left, are all gays emotional?

    in fact, i would like to talk to you privately if possible, do you have MSN?

    again, im not trying to offend but if anyone is offended by my words
    please try to understand that this is the only way i can express my thoughts.
  17. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    That's really cool...thanks for sharing and being so open and honest with your thoughts. I'd never thought I could ever change someones views about gay people but I guess I have, which is kind of awesome. I don't think any part of what you said was stupid at all. I think it's easy for people to make assumptions about things they don't fully understand or have experience with. Like you never had any experiences with gay people that would have led you to believe that they are "emotional" as you put it. You've shown how intelligent you are by questioning your beliefs when faced with new evidence that contradicts what you thought was true before. I'm glad I was able to change your feelings about gay people and I'm glad I was able to give you a deeper understanding of what it's like to be gay I guess.

    Anyways I have MSN but I really don't use it I have AIM though? or maybe if you like I can give you my email address and we can talk that way or whatever.

  18. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    whats your AIM? add me r3dt4g
  19. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

  20. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well, you at least had the courage to ask him out.

    Mad props for that.

    I've had my eye on this very attractive girl in my class for a while and I can't imagine how nerve racking it would be to ask her out!

    Never mind if I didn't even know if she was into guys!

    Takes extreme guts to do what you did.