I've been depressed as long as I can remember. I've been through it all, I moved to the 'states from Ireland, where I got my ass beat everyday and things were just bad. Then my father died, we moved to America, I was introduced to drugs, they seemed to help, just for a few hours though. Then was worse, alcohol and mindless sex came later, didnt help anything either. When I was 19, I was an "egineer" as so to speak at an aircraft plant, I had no schooling, no training. I just knew how to run the programs, I was making 100k+ a year, I had cars, women, all the drink I could buy, guns, boats, just all the things any guy could want. None of it made me happy though. Then I got fired, I lost almost everything. I'm 23 now, jobless again, living in my parents basement, still just as depressed as I was when I had everything. I feel the same as I did, as if nothing has changed. I had, and lost the love of my life, I wasnt happy then, just less sad. I just dont know why I'm like this... Medicine dont help, Alcohol dont help (six weeks, four days sober now by the way) Drugs just dont do anything Women dont help Money just takes the stress away, but dont help Nothing just seems to help, Why cant I be happy?