Why? Just why?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Maaso, May 21, 2009.

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  1. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    I've been depressed as long as I can remember. I've been through it all, I moved to the 'states from Ireland, where I got my ass beat everyday and things were just bad. Then my father died, we moved to America, I was introduced to drugs, they seemed to help, just for a few hours though. Then was worse, alcohol and mindless sex came later, didnt help anything either.

    When I was 19, I was an "egineer" as so to speak at an aircraft plant, I had no schooling, no training. I just knew how to run the programs, I was making 100k+ a year, I had cars, women, all the drink I could buy, guns, boats, just all the things any guy could want. None of it made me happy though. Then I got fired, I lost almost everything.

    I'm 23 now, jobless again, living in my parents basement, still just as depressed as I was when I had everything. I feel the same as I did, as if nothing has changed. I had, and lost the love of my life, I wasnt happy then, just less sad.

    I just dont know why I'm like this...

    Medicine dont help,
    Alcohol dont help (six weeks, four days sober now by the way)
    Drugs just dont do anything
    Women dont help
    Money just takes the stress away, but dont help

    Nothing just seems to help,

    Why cant I be happy?
     
  2. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I struggle with those questions myself, as do so many others. In fact I think "Why" is the million dollar question of those with depression.

    Sadly, with that said, I've scarcely found an answer myself. Perhaps you are in need of a purpose? A career or calling in life that drives and impassions you? That's largely what has helped me overcome depression.
     
  3. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    I have a hobby, not really constructive to my cause...might be the one to destroy it all actually. But I'm a gunsmith, I have a few projects going that I always have to see to the end. Its something that has always bothered me, I cant leave a project unfinished, which haunts me because I dont want to live...
     
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