Why keep fighting?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lost2, Jul 13, 2013.

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  1. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    I have been struggling so much lately and my suicide plans are really strong
    I'm having to fight the plans in my head constantly and tell myself that things will get better
    But who am I kidding? They don't get better - I'm still in the same shit place I was years ago and it hurts
    Things don't change, I just have to put n that fake smile and pretend I'm ok
    No one knows what I'm going though and I'm tired of struggling on
    Just want to curl up and die and end this once and for all
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun you are still here fighting you are doing your best hun and no no one not evey you can tell what future hold It may just change for better hun You don't have to fake it here ok You let out the sadness here so others can support you hugs
  3. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    A week ago I stabbed myself in the chest and had 6 stitches - I was so upset at getting to that crisis point and hoped someone at the hospital could help me.
    I was told that I needed to be in hospital so that they could keep me safe but that there were no beds available so I would have to go home. I hate it at the hospital but knew I needed help. They promised that someone would ring me but no one has and I'm just on my own
    No one cares and no one can help me - I asked for help and it wasn't there
  4. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    I must sound so stupid and sad!
    It's so exhausting fighting off suicidal thoughts and plans all day - part of me is scared that I will act impulsively and do something stupid but part of me doesn't really care
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You don't sound stupid or sad at all...you are really dealing with too much right now, and it's good to be able to let it all out. I'm sorry you haven't had much support, but keep posting here and we'll be here for you.
  6. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    Back at the hospital last night after cutting my wrists
    Something must stop me from ending my life but what that is I'm not sure
    One day I will do it right
  7. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Lost2,
    I am so sorry, please stop hurting yourself. It is disgraceful the hospital has not supported you better. Have you tried any therapy? Try going to your own dr and see if they can help you. You are a good person, try not to be to hard on yourself. Change comes, but often you need to alter something in your life.
    It isn't your fault you are poorly, you just need help learning to cope again. You are seeking out help on here, please keep posting as it seems to help you.
    Take care
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