Why Lonely?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Kemra, Feb 6, 2009.

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  1. Kemra

    Kemra Well-Known Member

    Why do people feel alone or even get lonely.. even those of us with disorders that make us shun human contact experience this. I could sit alone for days, weeks, months, ignore knocks on my door, not answer the phone, turn away anyone that is persistent enough to keep trying, or used to anyway.. bit hard to evade others when you live in their backyard. Yet I never felt truly lonley till after my cat died, it was then i realised what loneliness is, know its a permanent part of me. So all those years I deluded myself into thinking I was somehow different, invulnerable to true loneliness, yet I wasn't, just a freak who preferred the company of an animal.

    Used to think loneliness was some sort of myth, now I know its not and I kinda wonder why do we feel alone, even after others have hurt us or ridiculed us we still seek out some sort of companionship.
  2. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Humans are social animals and there's no getting away from that fact...unless you're schizotypical. I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring animals over humans. If you can enhance the life of another living being, by being there for it, then that is virtue enough.
  3. Kemra

    Kemra Well-Known Member

    Why are we still social though? Its no longer needed for survival or protection, unless walking the streets of a night in any city after dark of course. We take risks with our feelings and hearts to form friendships and relationships that may hurt us, seek the approval of workmates and colleagues and even socialise with them. In fact a lot of troubles can be narrowed down to too much interaction with others and someone who dosen't interact is told they're ill, or anti-social..

    Is loneliness a good or bad thing? If any of you could choose to be alone and not feel lonely would you? I know I would.
  4. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Well I don't get lonely, I stay in, surf the internet, watch films, play games etc. and although I don't feel lonely I think what's the point of it? And so I think, well I'm not going to waste my time, I'm going to study or travel, learn about life, experience the world etc., but nothing I learn or experience is shared with anyone else, so I'm not really sure what the point of that is either.
  5. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Isolation can also cause many psychological disorders. Beyond protection and survival there is quality of life. Troubles can be about both isolation and the overly compromising nature of those who have a strong desire to gain social connections.

    If you're alone and don't feel lonely, then just live how you feel comfortable. Nothing else matters.
  6. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I sort of agree and disagree with this. I mean let's say you're a great singer but you don't want to let anyone hear you sing. You're comfortable with that, and that's fine, but I also feel it's a bit of a shame too. Still life is long, there's plenty of time to be alone, and plenty of time to be with others. Picking what suits you best for now is probably wise as there's usually opportunity for change.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2009
  7. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Aye, it can cross between two lines. The one of being "wise" Vs following your true will, and the conflict of autonomy Vs instinct and moral teaching.
  8. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    I'm someone who does not have a single meaningful relationship in my life and it has been this way for many years. For the most part, I can handle being alone (as long as I have my cats, at least).

    But the deadly aspect of this situation is that I can make very little effort to improve my life because there isn't one single person who cares if I succeed or fail. If no one cares about me, then why should I care about me?

    It's fatal.
  9. momeick

    momeick Member

    I, too, feel that no one cares about me. The only reason I'm still here is for my two young children. My dad died of cancer when I was 5 and I know what it feels like to lose a parent. They're the only reason I'm still here. I've been crying for days now and can't stop.
  10. Shiroi_Hana

    Shiroi_Hana Well-Known Member

    Eh... I think things would be a lot easier for me if I could just get rid of the loneliness factor... it's more of an annoyance than anything else, in all honesty....
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