why me what did i do *poss trigger

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mandyj101, Jun 21, 2009.

  1. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    why me what did i do
    i was young
    i knew it was wrong
    but i still let it happen
    why me what did i do
    i was young again
    i said no
    but i didnt scream
    why me what did i do
    they left me
    they knew i needed them
    but didnt care
    why me what did i do
    the pain cant be seen
    i hide away where i feel safe
    noone can hurt me
    i wont let them anymore
    why me what did i do
    i sit and i cry
    my head races
    my heart beats
    i take the blade
    then calmness
    i stop crying
    just feel this pain
    that can now be seen
    why me what did i do
    the temporary relief has gone
    its started again
    i take the bottle
    every mouthful brings euphoria
    i stop thinking
    i have peace
    why me what did i do
    mornings broken the sunlight burns my eyes
    people laugh outside
    its me they are laughing at me
    the friendless nobody
    why me what did i do

    my heads been racing all night.im no good at writin poems.this has kinda taken th form of 1.jus wantd 2 get this out of my head and in writin i guess :sad:
  2. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    :sad: Here if you want to talk. :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: mandy!
  4. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    thanks 4 replyin .. wish i could show this 2 my brother n try n make him understand.. but i cant .. never will be able 2..
    sigh .. somethings are meant 2 be kept 2 urself i guess.. :sad:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You had the courage to write it out here. maybe someday you can show your brother. :hug:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you didn't do anything you were innocent and they had no right Keep writing get it out of your head that is what i do I know the wall you built is very high to keep the pain out. I hope the people here can help take some of that pain away