For gods sake.. I just wanna scream and throw a tantrum. I get told I'm making excuses to not babysit. 3 days after a phlebotomy (bloodletting). On the day I had it - I went bowling - and was told I looked fucked (referencing tired) - so was dropped off home - rested for an hour and went to bingo. But when I say no - or maybe - I effectively get told off. Don't I know my own fucking body? Don't I know what I am capable of doing? Am I completely stupid? Sure feels like because others do so much more and I hate the fact I struggle even doing menial tasks around the home. If I say I struggle sleeping I get told it's because I don't do enough/drink too much coffee. If I say I struggle exercising (such as friday and 50 mins of walking made me sweat profusely) - I'll get told it's because I don't do enough. I get hot flushes - I don't complain (irl) I get tired from doing something and/or nothing - I don't complain (irl) I don't sleep properly - I feel like I can't say anything I don't eat enough - "oh you should eat more" And yet - when I want to have the occasional steak from a meal out - it's considered a no-no. But diet alone will not change that I will need these phlebotomies from time to time. I have iron overload built into the genetics that I have, so it's going to be needed. I've never been one for being able to lift weights - I steer clear from it because I don't do it well enough. I get occasional joint aches (elbows/shoulders) - I put it down to laying awkwardly. I have occasional thirsty spells where I could drink and drink and still need more. But with all that - I'm not allowed to say no without being guilt-tripped. I'm not allowed to say no without being reminded that my sister and her partner don't do a lot together... Who's fucking fault is that? Mine? For saying no to babysitting? The last time I said no... they had my niece go over - who, in the end - I had to go to sit with the kids so my brother-in-law could take her home. He took well over an hour - to do something that I was presuming would take 10-15 minutes. But it took 75. Can I truly be blamed for fucking saying no now and again? Any advice would be grateful. This is a rant but I'm pissed off at the fact that when I say no it's wrong.