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Why Me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThatWasJustYourLife, Nov 8, 2008.

  1. Right ive joined this site litrally 2 mins ago and i hope someone on here will atleast read my threads. Replies would be helpful but aslong as people read them thats all im bothered about so here goes (sorry for any bad spelling)

    ok i was married for 5 years. We had a big house and was planning on having children next year. I thought everything was ok but my wife said to me that ive been pushing her into a corner and im not supportive enough. She had a drug problem and i helped her every step of the way!! She was 2 grand in debt with the bank, I payed it for her! She spent a week in hospital, I rang all her family members and told them what happened. I make the meals everyday for her. And what do i get? Nothing! i dont expect presents or glory for anything ive done for her, Just a thank you for the lovely meal or thanks for helping. The worse is yet to come :sad:

    about 4-5 months ago my wife told me she had to move to Essex due to work related stuff (dont want to go into detail) they provided her with a house etc and so i gave up everything here so i could move with her. I was on 3K a month job, A massive house all my friends and family. ALL that so i could live with her. And 2weeks she told me she doesnt love me anymore:sad: we've sat down and talked about everything and she said she wants to stay single for awhile because the relationship is ''bugging'' her and she then said she just doesnt have any feelings for me. How can someone just not love you like that? Anyway since i moved back here ive not had 1 email/text or phone call of her. Ive sent her endless amounts of emails and texts and try and fone her 5-6 times a day but she doesnt answer

    So now im lonely
    No job
    No partner
    My friends think im scum
    Living in a shitty 1 person flat

    only member of my family who cares about me is my sister. My parents couldnt care if i died on the streets (and they even said that)

    How did i end up like this. In the past week ive had about 4 hours sleep. I eat only 1 meal a day. I feel like crying none stop :sad:

    The police was involved last weekend because i was standing next to a dual carriage way and was waiting for the next lorry to come past but someone rang the police and they escorted me away :dry:

    I had such a good life and now theres no point even breathing :-(

    Sorry this is such a long and boring thread but i just had to get it off my chest. Sorry again if this is in the wrong section :sad:
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    It'll improve, it always does.

    First off, about the job: have you talked to your old company? They might understand. You didn't leave on bad terms, you left because your wife had a job somewhere else.

    Second, that's rough, there's no question about that. I would guess that she's been using you for a while. Now that she's on her feet, she's ditching you. I want to say that you'll be better off without her, but... I think you will be better off, once you get over this.

    What the hell is the matter with your friends? Talk some sense into them! They should be being supportive of you.

    That's temporary, and it's not that bad.

    Oh. See a psychiatrist sooner rather than later. They can help.
  3. Thank you for replying

    Ive spoken to my old company and they said my job has been filled by someone whos better qualified.

    My friends think im scum because they think i did something to my wife and ended the marriage

    And i think your right i think she was using me. I cant get over her i still love her. No matter how shes treated me in the past she still means the world to me :sad:
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    sorry your life seems a mess right now.
    there are many things you can do about this but it will take time mate and suicide isnt the answer.
    tough time to get a job but from what you said your wage was i guess you are very skilled so another will come in time, just keep plugging away even if you have to take a lower paid one just to get employed again, its easier to get a job if you already have one.

    as for your wife, well it does seem that she was using you but thats just a guess, but even so, you have tried to contact her again to no avail so you can say that its over now. time to move on? i think so but i know first hand the pain and disapointment you are feeling and it will take some time untill you are ready to explore other avenues so take some 'me' time now, collect yourself and work towards finding yourself and loving yourself again. i know it seems hard but with time and patience you can do it, lots of ppl here have gone thru something similar.

    as for your friends, well if they blame you for this then let them, you know the truth of it all, maybe they will come round. if not you will make more.

    time to start a new life, get a new job, any will do for a start.
    find a new place to live thats better for you when you are able, doesnt have to be a mansion.

    first off tho, you need to calm your mind down.
    go visit your gp, talk to them honestly and get some medication.
    make time to see a councellor, they will help you understand this.

    and a hobby is always good for distractions.

    don't worry mate, time is a great healer.

    stay safe
  5. Erratic

    Erratic Active Member

    I won't repeat what other people have said about your (ex)wife, chances are, they're right. You can get over her, and you will, it'll just take some time. Break ups are always hard when they're that unexpected and painful. You have my sincerest sympathy. But there's no reason to end your life because of what she's done. She is not worth your life or happiness.

    As for your life and what's going on right now, it can be turned around. It will take time, it will take a lot of effort, but it can and will get better. Just one step at a time, and you can rebuild everything.
  6. Thank you all for ur replies i appreciate them all

    I have noticed that your all pretty much saying that its going to take awhile for me to get over my ex wife. Its going to be VERY tough for me but you all are right tho. Ever since i moved back here i have been looking for work but its very tough to find a job in this city, Espcially around this time of the year but im not gonna stop looking

    I have been thinking about going to my GP about my depression but im totally clueless about medication. What side effects are there to anti depressents? Also i would love to goto a counselor but due to where they are based and living on very little money im unable to get transport and its certainly not walking distance :sad:
  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    take one step at a time, make appt to see gp, tell them how you feel and dont hold back, that way you will get the help you need and they will sort out meds.
    most a/d's take a while to work so stick with it, the gp will also be able to sort out councelling thru nhs but that takes ages but if you do get desperate enough to consider suicide then the samaritans are very good to talk to.

    i get the feeling you want to get thru this so just take little steps, have some kind of plan of what you need to do to find yourself in a better place then slowly work thru it.

    it will take a while, depression isnt something you can just click your fingers and be cured, you may even suffer for the rest of your life to some extent but its how you deal with it and your support methods which will help you and make it a little easier.

    don't be too proud to ask for help.