why me...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Shifter, May 20, 2011.

  1. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    a while ago i was depressed and planned to murder myself. one of my friends talked me into a pact, wait til hs is over and if life isnt bearable by then to execute the deed. so in my 2nd or so year i animate a little stk kicking in the school library. a girl sees me and asked me how, little did i know at the time, i would fall in love with this girl....so we talked, and quickly became friends, but something sickening happened in the process, as the days went by i desired her company more and more and she appeared to do the same. before summer of last year on a hot day the assistant principal(who is in charge of the attendance office and has a history for hating me and singling ME out cause im late to school almost everyday) insulted me and my gf and i yelled at this bitch and she had me nearly arrested and i was locked in a mental hospital. where i considered bashing my head to death on the toilet there in my room. memories of my mother and father and her stopped me from doing it. She....when i hug her the world seems to be unable to harm me, when we kiss time appears to stop and i feel complete. SADLY shes 16 and 3/4 and im 18 now....shes also a slave to half brothers and sisters that are babies to 7. only 1 sister is 7 and the rest are like 2-5 there are 5 in total counting her. I cant see her cause of the tight leash and i dropped out of school cause that shit was killing me. The ass principal pissed me off so much i despise her the same way hitler despised the jews and it woulda gone down as i wouldda probably killed myself with her breathing down my throat and the whole school was shit anyway. you would learn more sitting on your ass all day thinking. I love her, and she loves me but her family and her friend's parents despise me and its as if the world is keeping us apart. i went from depressed to happy to....an odd mix of content/melancholy/angry and i fear depression is around the corner....

    does this all sound like a bad joke? everyone seems to have better relationships than me, this was my first in years and they never last past 3 months and this one lasted like almost 3 years now. i dont think i could do better at all and......the point of this is probably gonna brighten your day knowing you dont have this to deal with >_> T_T
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi you the thing is you don't have to go to school to get education you can go to a adult school get some classes get your diploma that way okay. I know how people can judge and it does hurt. she will be 18 soon an adult and she can make her own decisions. YOu need to get stable get your education else where get a job and show this family how responsible you can be. You have so much time to do this so why not start now Your gf will need that okay a stable person someone she can count on.