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why must people care?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jmartin89, Apr 11, 2007.

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  1. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    all i want to do so badly is just end this pain that i feel all....the....time. the onyl thing stopping me is my girlfriend and my 2 friends who i call my big brother and lil sister. once they all leave me, i dont care what anyone says. im ending it. this pain that i feel at so random times is....i dont know how to explain it. im sure many people have felt it, im sure many have defeated it. im sorry i just cant defeat it. im weak and im facing that and i must end it to make everyones lives better. i just want to be forgotten....:sad:
  2. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    scratch that my "brother" gives up easily on talking to me, so all i have is my girl friend and my lil sister
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Well, relationships with brothers can be tough...men do not show their feelings easily. But of COURSE people care about you...trust me, if they did not, you wouldn't feel better. You are a worthy and decent human being, and your death would destroy those who love you. Tell them about your feelings, so that YOU can feel closer to THEM. You are distancing yourself so that you can make that final push towards Death, but it will not work, because they truly love you. Embrace that love and be honest with them (and yourself)...they can help you even when you are not willing to help yourself. That is what they are there for. They will lift you up when you feel like crap. Lean on them, and in turn, let them lean on you.
  4. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    the thing is with my brother is that he gives up in like.....3 seconds, im not that type of person to just state my feelings. you have to practically force it out of me
  5. corral

    corral Guest

    is it serious with you and your gf? why would you want to leave someone you love? and if you leave it will crash her too. why wont you work towards a happy future with your gf?
  6. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    im trying that, i dont want to leave her thats what's keeping me from doing anything at all. because of her i keep from cutting and hurting myself other ways and killing myself. today i went to my therapist and all he recommended was medication but i wont get it for a while. i hate it when therapists do that, every single therapist i had did that to me. its not like my feelings are going to wait for the medication :mad:
  7. Greenforest

    Greenforest Well-Known Member

    But you should be happy that you at least have a girlfriend. Some have never had anyone and are all alone.
  8. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    If your relationship is causing you to harm yourself, then you should probably end it. A relationship should be judged on how it makes you feel. If you are always feeling crappy and cutting yourself, it's not healthy. That's not to say that relationships can't turn around, but you need to do what is best for you and for your safety.
  9. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    I used to wonder why people cared. When this girl that I had previously dated found out that I had been in hospital due to an overdose she was really upset over it (I didn't overdose because of her, she'd kicked me back a good year before hand). When I met up with her she was really geniunely concerned for my well being, she was a good friend at this point. I thought to myself 'What difference would it make if I was dead?' Then I thought about it from a different perspective, I thought about her killing herself and how I would feel. I suddenly felt really bad, it'd be really aweful to hear her dead, to be in a position where I didn't see it coming and I was powerless to help her.

    It's a very negative thing for other people to deal with, morbidity and mortality is depressing for everyone else.
  10. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    you won't make anyone happy if you kill yourself.
    You're lucky that you have people who care about you. I'm sure if they care, it means you're important to them, they love you and they want you to be with them.
    Talk to them, ask them what they love you for, and think about it every time you feel like giving up.
  11. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    i understand people care for me, my relationship isnt bad for me. i mean she is going through her own problems but she is more important to me then myself. when she tries to talk to me about my problems i shut her out because i dont want her to worry.

    it doesnt change the fact i still feel this, people caring is in my way on offing myself. right now there is only 2 people who hold me back, my little sister and my girlfriend. i love them both and i dont want to leave them, but if they leave me then thats it. im sorry but nothing is stopping me then.

    my therapist is trying to get me back on medication again, and he isnt like those other therapist that are like "let us give you some tests and wai for the results".

    i've been seeing this therapist for some time now so he isnt just giving me some randon drug, he doesnt want me to do anything so he wants me to see him every week and going to try to get me on medication asap.
  12. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    I think it's better for you to talk to your girlfriend when she asks you about your problems. Cause if you don't, she might interpret it in completely different way.
    By talking to her you let her know she is important to you and you trust her.
    You'll feel better and her too.
  13. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    its hard though because im not a type of person to blurt things out. i care what she thinks of me. but you guys i dont know you and doubt id ever meet any of you so its easy to say anything i want to. its hard enough to talk to my therapist. my youth was not a good one to tell, i was pushed around alot and took it all in, and i thought showing weakness was bad so i learned to push back in life and keep everything in. im so good on keeping it in that when i do talk to someone all the important things dont come out, its just automatic. i hate my youth, but i cant blame people who i dont know anymore.:unsure:
  14. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    i hate urges...I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!! :mad: :mad:

    im feeling so shitty right now i want to end it so badly, god why must people care about me, they make it hard for me to end it. :sad: why cant i just do anything? i want to cut, my razor is in my pocket, i could easily do a couple cuts and make myself feel a little better. if people werent around, if people didnt care, id end it slowly and painfully. god why cant i? :mad: :sad:
  15. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    dont be selfish, be satisfied wth what you have because you may think your at the bottom of the food chain, but you aren't
  16. jmartin89

    jmartin89 Member

    if that was the case i wouldnt be confiding to strangers, id say " fuck it" and just cut myself and go kill myself if instead think i had a chance. but w/e i guess, if talking helped then we'd all be feeling great. thanks for the try people, but ill just confide into something else
  17. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, I'm sorry I only just seen this thread. People are not forced to care, people don't need to care. They choose to care. I can understand about you not being able to open up to your girlfriend. You say you don't want to worry her, but if you don't talk to her, don't you think that would worry her more? Communication is the key in a relationship. Both parties should be there for each other. Through the good, and the bad. Maybe you could write a letter to your girlfriend and explain how you are feeling. You can lean on each other, be each others rock. I feel if you could talk to someone close to you about your feelings you may feel a little better. You say your girlfriend has problems of her own, please don't feel as if you're being selfish if you tell her your feelings. Not at all. Your girlfriend would probably be grateful and pleased you told her what is bothering you. Of course, ultimately, it's down to you if you tell her, but I do recommend you do. How about your sister, can you talk to her?

    You are worrying about them leaving you, when they most probably won't. Your sister and girlfriend care for you, please try to let them in. You need the support, and they will most likely give you the support.

    Take care of yourself.
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