Why must people die until lessons are learned?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lachrymose27, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    I often wonder why people must pay the consequences with their lives in order for the rest of the world to prevent the same tragedy from happening.

    Like 9.11.. There were hints to the US that the WTC would be attacked yet the administration decided to ignore the warning and let thousands of people die. And it is because of the deaths, which MUST happen, that they decided to amp up security. Why can't they have acted upon the warning in the first place? Why must people MUST die for something to be done?

    Why must people commit suicide because their family were so oblivious? For me personally, if I had committed suicide, my family would be upset and ONLY THEN, that they would think of all the possible help that I COULD HAVE had, that MAY have prevented suicide. They would think I could have been saved if they had encouraged me to see a mental health specialist, or if they had given me moral support.

    See, the funny thing is, if I WERE ALIVE, they WOULD NOT be thinking those thoughts. If I WERE ALIVE, they would only be thinking how USELESS i was and how I should be doing this and doing that and tell me how I need to grow up because that's just the way life worked. They WOULD NOT of tell me to get therapy treatment or given me words of support such as "life has many possibilities and obstacles, if you tripped and fell, try the next hurdle, no big deal."

    Must I kill myself in order for them to understand? If I must kill myself, then I wouldn't even need their understanding because my problems would have been solved. So what options do I have? To kill myself or to kill myself?

    I'm infuriated with how people handle things-how closed and absent-minded they are. Can you imagine how many people would have of been saved if we had only opened our eyes?
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree with everything you said except the part about you needing to kill yourself
    we gotta find a way to stay and change their way of thinking
  3. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    I also agree with many of your points, but like IV said we need to stay around to make people more aware of what they are doing. If everybody decides to give up then nothing will ever change and the cycle will continue :S
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too think staying and fighting to get things changed is the only way to have improvement happen hugs to you
  5. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    I agree with Total Eclipse and Black Orchid. I would add that everybody has constraints of time, budget, energy etc...So we tend to address what is most urgent, most obvious, most important either in our personal, social or work life. Bombarded everyday by all kind of demands, sometimes, we just don't understand how critical a situation is until something bad happens. Not that I am trying to excuse anybody from their responsibilities, just trying to see how things are.

    Lets take a hypothetical example. A depressive friend phones me for the 20th time, at 3h00am, after I had a long day at work and with another one lining up for the day. And I have a bad cold to top it. Obviously, I am tired, I am stressed and I just don't have it in me to spend 2 hours of hand holding and cheering him up. The day after I learn he committed suicide. How am I supposed to feel? What was I suppose to do? Guilty, responsible? Unlike September 11, when people lost their lives by the actions of somebody else, suicide is a personal choice.

    For many years I was resentful of my father not taking much time for us, his children. But dad was a cop in a small town, always bringing home the emergency phone, going out in the middle of the night, covering all kind of crap, from car accidents to drunk husbands beating their wife. So, at some point, I just got it that he did the best he could, putting food on the table and sheltering us from his own state of mind by doing wood working and all his other hobbies. These days so many parents have a hard time to finding and keeping a job to make sure their kids have at least the basic necessities.

    I've known enough volunteers, I've done enough volunteering myself to know that the demand is always way bigger than what the people trying to do something can cope with. Volunteer burn out is a big problem. I think if one find that some problem is worth addressing, one must commit himself and work to make changes happening, realizing that we can only do so much. Not cry in the hope somebody else will do the work. Same with depression. Help and support are good, even necessary at times, but first and foremost, everyone of us has a responsibility toward ourselves.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 4, 2011
  6. Pow

    Pow Well-Known Member

    I too, wonder at times why people are like this. They all take it for granted.
    Why care about it after the damage is done.
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    You know the answer of what you need. Tell yourself to get therapy treatment, and remember that life has many possibilities and obstacles, and when you trip and fall, try the next hurtle, no big deal.

    My parents neglected many things for myself and my sister. We were on the outskirts of their lives. They housed, fed, and said "I love you" often, but they did not nurture us in many ways. They are who they are. As I look back, I realize they had a lot of ignorance of how things work for people. Their own childhoods explain why. They each had a violent, alcoholic father who died before they were 10.

    One day I came across a book called "12 Steps to Self Parenting." I never read the book but I kept the title and I started to parent myself. I was a mother by then and I would tell myself the most motherly things that I told my own children.

    I hope you get to feeling better. :hug: