Maybe one of you guys can figure out why my dreams LOVE torturing me. "I was walk amoung the streets of my city. It's late afternoon, a setting sun hangs in the western sky. It's spring... or summer I can't tell, but the weather is warm, nice, and everyone is enjoying it. As I walk I absorb the city around me, I take in the sights, smell the flowers, watch the people around me. I'm walking from class (strange I have plans to go to college but I haven't been there) as I'm walking... there she is! This girl who I knew from work, I had a huge crush on her. She looks at me, gives me a smile, I approach ask her how she's been. We maybe talk for 10 minutes, it was like she was there again. As if it was no longer a dream... every feature as well defined as the first time I gazed upon them. Then, the other guy approaches (long story but lets just say there's a reason I lost my last job, and involves the two people in my dream, her and him). He desperately works his way into the conversation, almost demanding her attention. ALmost trying to push me out of my seat. She naturally gives it to him, I seem to go ignore for a moment. He then insults me, which makes me snap, I give him my usual stern look and my tone drops from "friendly light hearted" to husk and short. I say what I usually say in such a case "You want to get hurt?". My point is made, he looks down defeated before walking off. Then I turn to her, she's heart broken! those big soft eyes are now full of anger and saddeness. She didn't want to talk to me, she looks almost past me to watch him walk away. I apologize before excusing myself off to go home... and then I wake up." Now to make a long story short, I chased this girl for like a few months and in the end fell flat on my face. She clearly had no interest in me. Needless to say it threw me into a very bad depression, I started all my old shit again (drinking, lying, and general self destruction) before my drunkeness costed me my job. The job I met her at. This happen months ago, I dreamed about things similar for fucking WEEKS. I thought my psyche finally stopped fucking with me. But last night... I dreamed of her again. My akwardness with women and my general inability to be social is a source of GREAT pain for me. It causes me to lie a lot to create a story I think people will respect or at lest be interested in, and to constantly be reminded why I'm unhappy and why I'm such a fuck up... its just fucking torture. I'm trying to shut this off, trying to forget, yet I'm not even allowed to REST with out being reminded that I'm a pathetic drunkard. Anyways? What you guys think?