why my suicide is inevitable

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by juicy, Sep 11, 2013.

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  1. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    There are only three things that I want to accomplish on earth. Achieve my dream and achieve my mother's. It was always my mother's dream to see me get my diploma and I've done that. My dream is to traditionally publish a novel. I first began working on my manuscript when I was 19 and I am now 22. It is about a 19 year old girl who struggles to get her high school diploma. Thus, it is nearing it's completion. I have one draft to go before I begin querying. I'm confident that I can do it. I might not, but if I do, that's the only greenlight I'll need to go ahead with my plan. I've attempted once, nearly succeeded, and ever since then I've chickened out. But after I discovered the root cause of why I've not gone through with it, I realized it's because I haven't realized my dream yet. I've often imagined myself having already done it, and thinking whether I'd have anything else to live for and nothing comes up. I think a lot of suicidal people who try to kill themselves but chicken out at the last minute do so because there's always that one thing or several things that are keeping them here. I've identified what's keeping me here. Having done that, I now know that my suicide is inevitable. I've chalked up the "pain" of my method as mere discomfort. I can last a few minutes of discomfort. Anyway, this is why my suicide is inevitable.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 11, 2013
  2. mechanic

    mechanic Member

    Hey juicy, you sound like a very clever girl capable of achieving whatever she wants, I wish I could write a novel! what's your plan?
  3. Lifeisagift

    Lifeisagift Well-Known Member

    Welcome here juicy.
    I think absolutely every suicide is evitable since it's a matter of choice you make. You talked about an attempt, "nearly succeeded" . To me there's no success when you kill yourself. You're so young. I'm glad you have dreams. Just wish you had more and more. You can try new things in your life, maybe it's so long so as to give you the time to make experiences. Discover more and more things. Give us time to know you, i'm sure you're an amazing person. I see that it's your first post here, do not hesitate to make other ones, maybe explaining to us why you feel the need of killing yourself. Do not hesitate to use the chat too, people are friendly there.
    You matter. Take care
  4. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    Hey. I'm a boy :)

    Plan? I can't say it on here.
  5. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    thanks for responding. Yeah, it's just I'm at that part of my life where I have to confront the real world, being 22, and it's kind of scary. Having to shoulder so many responsibilities now is just really overwhelming. I'll elaborate more on this and other stuff in another thread.
  6. mechanic

    mechanic Member

    Sorry dude it was just an assumption! but I stand by what I said before you sound like you could achieve what ever goals you set yourself. I'm only 1 year older than you so I can understand what you are saying about being at the age where you have to shoulder responsibilities.. I'm not saying things get better but it does soon become the norm and can actually be pretty good for your self esteem.
  7. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    no problem.:) yeah I can see how it would be good for my self esteem. All my life though I've always been slower to mature than my peers but once I did, I always managed to excel. Guess I'm a late bloomer.
  8. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member


    that post confused me, actually.

    not sure if he was asking what your plan for the future was, or your plan for suicide.. in which case- it should be deleted as we can't talk about methods on here

    hhope you find this site useful
  9. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    I know quite a few people who are very intelligent but take a long time to mature. It ends up being a bit of a challenge, because they have to live their own unique life in a world of people whose brains function differently. Bright, very capable in whatever their work or task is, but take longer to figure out how to connect with other people. Is that you?
  10. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    I just stated "my plan," not the methods.
  11. juicy

    juicy Well-Known Member

    probably is. When I was younger, it was easier to be a late-bloomer because society is naturally more patient with children than they are with adults. As an adult, I don't have the time to bloom late. Or at least that's how I feel. Everything has to be done now, in a hurry. Sometimes I feel older than I am. Around 40. Other times, I feel quite a bit younger than my actual age. It depends on the day and my mood during that day. I can connect with other people just fine. I have friends and I have one side of my family I get along with well. This is my issue. Much of me feels like I'm not ready to shoulder the responsibilities that, at my age, I'm forced to shoulder.

    This was directed at Psych by the way. I forgot to qoute.
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