There are only three things that I want to accomplish on earth. Achieve my dream and achieve my mother's. It was always my mother's dream to see me get my diploma and I've done that. My dream is to traditionally publish a novel. I first began working on my manuscript when I was 19 and I am now 22. It is about a 19 year old girl who struggles to get her high school diploma. Thus, it is nearing it's completion. I have one draft to go before I begin querying. I'm confident that I can do it. I might not, but if I do, that's the only greenlight I'll need to go ahead with my plan. I've attempted once, nearly succeeded, and ever since then I've chickened out. But after I discovered the root cause of why I've not gone through with it, I realized it's because I haven't realized my dream yet. I've often imagined myself having already done it, and thinking whether I'd have anything else to live for and nothing comes up. I think a lot of suicidal people who try to kill themselves but chicken out at the last minute do so because there's always that one thing or several things that are keeping them here. I've identified what's keeping me here. Having done that, I now know that my suicide is inevitable. I've chalked up the "pain" of my method as mere discomfort. I can last a few minutes of discomfort. Anyway, this is why my suicide is inevitable.