I wish to scream, to cry, to yell, but I am paralysed inside. Yes, I want hurt myself and to die, but nobody takes me seriously, not even my shrink who has been promising a bed in the mental hospital for 4 days now. So I took a needle and sow my hand with red thread, then, if I need to go to the hospital, someone will eventually think I might be crazy enough to kill myself. The only reason it is not done yet it is because of my wonderful students who love me so much and I love them so much....like being a second mother for them. Other than that, my life sucks miserably.