why not?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by daddyo, Aug 3, 2011.

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  1. daddyo

    daddyo New Member

    As in why havent I committed suicide(or you). For me it is my wee daughter. I haven't quite felt so selfish as to put her through losing her dad. It's been close today. Close, but I'm still here.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...so glad you are here with us..if you feel comfortable either in a post or PM me, please share what has gotten you to this point...this way you will know you are not alone...and thank goodness for your daughter...truly a wonderful reason to be here...please be safe and welcome again, J
     
  3. daddyo

    daddyo New Member

    What got me to this point? Started 3yrs ago with a carcrash... head injuries. Lost my partner soon after. Then a steady spiral down into isolation. It's got to the point where i don't leave the house. Well, I'll have to leave it tomorrow because I'm being evicted. I could be packing, could be trying to find somewhere to store the important possessions. But, tbh, i do nothing.
     
  4. daddyo

    daddyo New Member

    17 hrs 35 minutes to eviction. fcuk it all.
     
  5. Lost?

    Lost? Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid that I'll fail. I've thought extensively about attempting to drink myself to death or ODing on OTC meds, but I'm worried that instead of ending up dead, I'll end up in the mental ward of some hospital and never have any freedom or privacy and thus no opportunity to try again.
     
  6. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Sending :hug: to both of you. :(

    I wish I knew what I could say or do that would help or comfort you at all. If you all want to talk to me, I promise to listen (I'm rarely PMed, and I check very often). :hugtackles:

    Sincerely,

    Alex
     
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just checking in to see what is going on and to remind you we care...J
     
  8. Well I tried, came close to dying, but in the end I failed (well more like machines kept me going). I havent done it again because I have two beautiful little girls who rely on me everyday.
     
  9. daddyo

    daddyo New Member

    hiya lost... i reckon your fear of failing has it's silver lining. it gives you the freedom to opportunity to try again that you mention.

    special... it's the kids for you too huh? i guess that you,like me, would like another more self-oriented reasonto be here. but being here for others sake will do for this moment.

    and maybe both mralex and sadeyes share that too. being here for others, us.

    i'm gonna go pack up my weeun's things for her. atm i can't imagine staying, but i can't imagine leaving her either. maybe my hopelessness will get me through another day. ffs... is saying my hopelessness is my only hope too... well, hopeless?

    i have found this site so very sad. i never realised just how many folk were feeling so desperate. having read through some of your stories i find myself hoping you stay here one more day.
     
  10. jtts

    jtts New Member

    Same here. I was going to try last weekend, but didn't. But it's back, and I feel like doing the above but for the same reasons I'm wary. Tomorrow is going to be a key day for me, if it's not a good one I'm afraid I will be doing something.
     
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