why on earth am I still hanging around...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marjoke, Mar 16, 2012.

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  1. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    there is nothing more to say...
    It's so obvious... most people don't want me around...not in real life...not even here...
    you like someone or you don't...that's something that can not be forced... I have the feeling everybody hates me...because who or what I am...I have not choosen to be this way...

    I hate this life... I hate this world... I don't want to be part of it anymore...
    It's over...and out...
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Sorry you feel that way Marjoke, it's easy to misunderstand folk feeling unable to offer help or support and thinking they do not like you.
    Why do you feel you are not liked?
  3. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed


    I hope you didn't do anything to yourself, i care deeply about you.
    Please keep posting here.
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we love you here marjoke. please return.
  5. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    it's just time for me to go...
    nobody can be forced to like somebody...
    and it completely normal that everybody dislikes or hates me...I even hate myself...
    sorry for who or what i am...I was...
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    The reply posts indicate you are incorrect on that and if you are incorrect on those here, then perhaps you are incorrect about "in real life" as well. Sometimes when we build a wall around ourselves it becomes difficult to see correctly to the other side. Take down part of the wall and see if perhaps you are mistaken and that there are many who do care about you.
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Something im trying to learn is to like myself
    very hard to except others thgts when in this state
    i dont think everyone hates you it mght seem tht way at times i get those thghts too in fact i sometimes thnk the world only revolves around just so it has ppl in it to hate me.
    Truth is ppl do care we here care.I have ppl tht dont understand my head space like tonght got told by a mate its getting boring it hurts but hey they dont get it.We dont get it when told get over sht but nobody hates ya hang in there
  8. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    I am trying hard to like myself also. I don't want to think a lot anymore. Deep thinking only bring depression on me. I am just gonna live simple. Eat, Sleep, Work (and/or Study), Play. That's all there is to it.
  9. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you must return
  10. aonisai

    aonisai Member

    you built a wall around you.
    read other posts, you are more lucky than someone else

    so, with me, we have to stay! i will help you to destroy that wall
  11. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Maybe I am more lucky than someone else but I feel what I feel...I have nothing left to be lucky/happy about
    I don't even know if there is anything to destroy...maybe I have build a wall...but I guess thats to protect me from this hard and cruel life/world...
    I'm scared...breaking of the wall makes me more breakable and fragile...and I had already more than enough pain and grief...I'm so scared...
  12. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed

    please hold on marjoke
  13. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    yes, you must hold on
  14. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I try and try...but I don't know how much longer I can hold on...it's so difficult and hard...
    I don't know whether it's worth the efforts to keep fighting for something you never can win...
  15. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Today...4 years and 4 months Cedric passed away...
    A long time...filled with pain, sorrow and sadness...
    It will never end... I still love him with all of my heart... but our time together is never coming back...Why??? *cry
    feeling very bad right now...
  16. letty

    letty Banned Member

    we are here for you, sorry for your loss, its hard to loose a loved one. please hold on . you are dear to so many here
  17. toshi

    toshi Well-Known Member

    I want to understand. I I want you around. Im new and I don't know how this works, but I want to listen.
  18. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Thank you...but there isn't very much to tell...I have lost all that I have loved...and I can't live with that...it hurts...keeps hurting every day and it's too hard to live with...I really wish I could join him...be with him...I so desperately want to die...sorry...
  19. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    marjoke, you may have lost everything you loved now, but that does not mean you cannot love again in the future! please stay with us :hugtackles:
  20. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I don't think I will able to love somebody again...not like I loved Cedric...he was my life...he was everything to me...he will never come back...so I want to go to him...
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