In case I forget to state the condition. Yes I do quite wish I was dead, but not I am not nessecarily suicidal. I mean, there could be a chance that I offed myself on some bad day if I had means to commit suicide. But rather, at the present moment, I consider myself not suicidal because "Oh gee, I want to live" but "Oh gee, X number of people are going to be wounded by my actions. I guess I have to live so that X number of people aren't hurt by me" Why the hell don't people just lay off the fact that some people want to die, and let that be. Without going over the basics of Death, an eternal end to all problems and end of the self-destructive ego can only bring a individual to eternal peace, something in which is not achievable in the regular world. Without resorting to Freshmen College Philisophy.... 1. I want to kill myself so I can end my conscienceness to circumnavigate all my problems. 2. However, according to whoever, the people around me feel so and so and so and so about it. Shit if they commited suicide, I honestly would feel that is was there choice (yes, I'm talking about something like a Brother or Mother). 3. Since I cannot (or rather should not) kill myself, I must conform to their social value and endure whatever bleak and sad existence I choose to define myself. (Coping with Paranoia warrants death on it's own) This is so screwed up; I'm living because others need me to live. Sure, I liike to be nice, but what rights do I have left when others desires can reign full swing on me. I have to live because people would be sad if I didn't. But the whole idea of suicide is to bring death and death itself is the perfect nirvana. If existence is the soil of all problems, then non existence prevents the growth of any problem. I could blow my brains out, fall asleep, and just stay asleep without having to wkae up for whatever to do whatever. Hell, the very idea of being alone without ANY desire for others is just so satsifying. Honestly, it would be so easy to kill yourself. You just have to be quick, silent, and effective. Firearms are the only way to go, IMO. But whatever, off topic. Others should see it as this. 1. People have the right to end their lives. 2. People also have the right to try and intervene. 3. But if a Suicide happens, people should mourn but at the same time accept that someone has blown out their brains for whatever reason. 4. And finally, THE SURVIVORS SHOULD NOT HOLD IT AGAINST THEMSELVES. If I sound narcissitic, cold, synical, or just a damn well brat, then fine, I cannot change your perceptions. But the point is that suicide should not be considered selfish...but not good either. Suicide should just mean in an unfortunate event that someone in the world decided to die on their own. End of disscussion. And if those who do commit suicide commit suicide, they, like all other people, are in for an eternal experince of non-existence, a respite for the life that is slowly killing us all. I mean the very unstable of fabric of existence does not warrant life when the occasional highs outline the lows in our life. The bliss by Suicide is the natural resting order in which we can no longer endure our own consciences. Bottom line: Suicide is not selfish and I am prepared to argue to the death for it (literally).