Why should I be depressed?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mpang123, Dec 30, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I have a caring mom, even though she can be hard to get along sometimes. That's why I don't live near her. ( which is the next town south). Although I go to group therapy a lot, I still feel so lonely. I can't seem to socialize and keep in touch with my potential friends that I've met in group. I'm afraid of making friends because I always end up losing them. I have a guard on. Then my neighbors here all have issues and are too consumed to bother with my issues. I understand that but wish I could visit them without the fear of bothering them. I used to socialize with them more than I do now, but I don't want to hear their issues and then tell them mine. I feel they have more serious issues than I have so I feel I shouldn't be so depressed. The New Year is coming up now and I pray for a better year, with or without friends. I have to say that you guys are my second family and are more supportive than my own. I will continue to use this forum to vent and try not to pity myself. I do have lots to be thankful for, but how quickly I forget that, and feel guilty that I still am depressed. It sure is a trying time for me. I'm trying to stay busy and think positive.
  2. iwanttohelp

    iwanttohelp Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry you are having a trying time. Whatever the pain and hurt is that is making you feel depressed... there is absolutely no need for you to compare yourself to others.

    Friends, family and neighbors can generally not be trusted for support. Every person has their own suffering they are dealing with and most will let you down. Its just how it is. Personally, I stick to venting one on one with a professional therapist. I just do the polite society act for everyone else, even my wife. Over 30 years of living with depression I have completely accepted the fact that most people don't want to hear problems. Its much easier when you know this so you can move on from being disappointed by them.

    Your depressed feelings are there for a reason and they want a voice. All that hurt and pain wants to be written, cried and talked out. Those parts of you want to see the light of day. Face it all, let it all out. Don't hide any of it because you are scared of what people would think. You just need to be selective about with whom and how you share it all. You don't need to feel guilty or like your pitying yourself. When you are depressed, you can have compassion and patience with yourself. You can find the relief you are looking for, never give up.
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can so relate to what you're saying. Socializing is very hard for me. I always feel like I'm bothering others or that I'm just not interesting to them. I worry so much but I am trying to change my thought pattern, like you, stay positive and remind me of the good things and what I'm grateful for. But man it's hard. I have a tendency to think negatively and not value myself. So much so that I get confused about my worth. Like I'm not important as everyone elses.

    You have group therapy :) that is awesome, I don't have that. I probably would have a panic attack. I am going to try and get a sort of therapy with arts work in mid january, I got to call them and see if they will take me.
  4. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    iwanttohelp, the pain and hurt is the emptiness I feel. Nobody or nothing can fill that void. People let me down because they don't want to deal with my trivial problems because they have it worse than me. That's what I've observed. At least I can have individual therapy at my group program but yet I'm scared that the therapist might freak out and report me to the psychiatrist for hospitalization. I have to prove to my therapist that I will be safe...that's his most concern. I guess I won't rely on my neighbors to know too much about me even though I want so much to tell someone how I really feel. But that will freak them out too. I'm learning that my family don't want to put up with my nonsense because they don't see the reason why I'm so depressed. I journal, cry about it, and talk it out, but I have to be careful who I vent to. That's why I like this forum. I can let EVERYTHING out.
  5. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    morning rush, thanks for relating. It is hard to socialize without feeling ignored or brushed off. I don't want to bother anyone anymore. I guess I'm alone in the battle of trying to stay positive and grateful even though others are so negative. I'm alone because nobody else acknowledges that I, too, should have a voice to express how I feel without being discounted. Yes, I have group therapy, but that can be overwhelming too. I come home exhausted emotionally because there's so much processing going on in the group. I hope you will find a therapy that will work for you. Again, thank you.
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