why should i even try

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sashasara, Jul 7, 2012.

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  1. sashasara

    sashasara Member

    i am so alone. no friends and no family that will talk to me. i hate myself. i wish i had a friend to talk to, and tell them that i want to die and that i need help. i feel so alone.
  2. sashasara

    sashasara Member

    i have a whole bottle of pain pills and i feel like taking them i am so alone
  3. Clementine

    Clementine Well-Known Member

    don't take them, i know how you feel i feel the exact same way. i guess just think about how killing yourself would effect so many people. idk, i feel really alone too like theres no way out of my depression so i guess i dont really have the best advice but if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always message me! :)
  4. Trapsin

    Trapsin New Member

    Prolly just make you sick. dont bother. Now, imagine that everybody dies, and is forgotten in time.. and that good people die, some die young. With this is there nothing you can find valuable worth enduring for? This usally works for me, to imagine people much greater, much more deserving torn from existence. It gives me the will to see it through, for the good.
  5. listless

    listless Banned Member

    Sorry to hear you feel that way. There are suicide helplines where you can talk to people. Also people here cause be a source of support. Do you have co-workers or friends from your past like school that you can contact?

    In my case my life has been a slow grind in poverty. I tried really hard to escape it, got a good education but was never able to turn it into a well paying job. So now I'm stuck in something menial though white collar. I know I can get something better but I don't like this glacially slow crawl out of poverty. I've blown away the best years of my life just trying to get a decent career going. Meanwhile I've seen my friends-even the stupid ones who didn't deserve it, get great jobs, houses and have been married.

    I was expected by everyone around me to go very far in life, but some key things happened that ruined my opportunities.

    Anyways, I've thought about suicide since my teens...almost daily when I was in my 20s and occasionally now that I'm nearly in my 40s. I haven't ended my life because there are family members who are dependent on me and it'd be a huge loss for them. Also because there are things I still want to accomplish...to say that I've at least done it. I don't have much time left..20 years just flew by so I can see myself in my 60s in a short period of time.

    I wish I had taken my life more seriously in my 20s so I'd be well established in my 30s. I was chasing a lot of silly things and ignoring my life-which was going nowhere. Now I'm living the way I should've but it all feels too late.

    Some days I just wish it was over, I don't want to struggle anymore...I have little left to gain from life. I have missed out on so much. All the advantages I've had, the connections are gone. While I have a good group of friends and a few close family members...that's just not enough for me.

    It's not that I hate life, I actually love it...but I can't live life to the fullest and I've lost out on very important opportunities, for jobs and relationships-which at the time I didn't think were valuable. I was naive, arrogant and foolish. All I have left is the slow grind out of poverty and my 50s to look forward to...fucking great. I think 45 will be my real gut-check moment. If I'm still no different than I am today, then that'll be the end. I'm going to give myself 5 years to make a significant change in life or else I'll check out for good.
  6. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    I'm in pretty much the same boat. My thoughts are, even though I feel very, very strongly like ending it, I'm trying very hard to "reprogram" my brain not to resort to that last ditch escape route.
    My personal journey has led me to decide that I should be on meds and read up on suicide, attachment disorder and depression. I think a big part of the problem is people around us not having a fuking clue as to what's going on for us.
    Even with all our suffering there is a great deal of good coming out of it, compassion. Think of it like this you could be the one to help someone else who is in extreme mental pain (psychache), because who else understands this level of suffering. Our families, friends and society want to ignore or deny us the care and compassion we deserve,which is why it's so important for us to reach out and offer loe and support when we can.

    When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul lughs for what it has gained. Sufi saying
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