I just spent an hour crying and cutting. I don't want to do this anymore. It will only get worse, if I had only ended it yesterday, the day before maybe I would have never known. I was so stupid! Everything was a lie, and I was gulible enough to believe it, stupid enough to hope! After all I've been through, I must only deserve more and more pain. I want this to end, but it never will! I want to close my eyes and never wake up, maybe I won't. I dont even deserve something that nice, no I deserve pain! I have nothing to live for, nothing.