Why should I keep on living a wasted life?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bluemonster, Oct 22, 2012.

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  1. Bluemonster

    Bluemonster New Member

    Hi, I just want to say thank you for reading this and I apologise in advance for the grammar mistakes but I can't be bothered to proof read it.

    I am 19 and have been suffering with serve anxiety for a few years and from this stemmed depression. I started uni last year but dropped out due to my anxiety. I have no idea on what I want to do with my life now and my anxiety is stopping me from even attempting to find things. I feel so inferior talking to my friends because they are in uni, loving life, whereas I am a drop out. I went to the doctors 3 times about my anxiety this year and they just gave me information on it. It might be that I am not explaining myself properly but it feels as if I am not being taken seriously. The doctors are having problems at the moment as well so it takes around 3-4 weeks, if not more, to get a doctors appointment.

    I know I am 19 but my life feels over. I think back and realised how fast the 19 years have gone and in another 19 years, I will be nearly 40 which terrifies me. Everyday, unless I have work, I will wake up at around 11am and stay on my laptop all day until 12-2am and then sleep. To make things worse, Christmas is coming up which means an increase in hours at work and I know that I won't be able to do handle it again. I barely managed last Christmas and if my parents had more< edit mod total eclipse method>, then I would have taken an overdose. My manager has already said that I will be doing more hours this Christmas compared to what I did last year which I can't refuse because I need the money.

    I know that this seems trivial compared to the issues other people are having but it isn't going to get better so why should I keep on living a wasted life?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2012
  2. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    Hi, this might be useful: Somatherapy.
  3. slcsportschick

    slcsportschick Active Member

    Hey Bluemonster, I can relate to you quite a bit. I have health problems myself, and because of them, I'm not able to do much either. My day consists of waking up around 10 a.m. finding stuff to keep me distracted during the day, and then going to bed. Not much of a life. I'm not able to work or go to school, and I am 25 years old. It's hard knowing that my friends are out living their lives, and seeming to progress, and it makes me feel like my life is pointless. They are all happy and doing things most people take for granted, and I am stuck day in and day out doing the same thing.

    I'm sorry that you have to deal with your anxiety. I can relate with your depression. It really does make doing other things harder. Though it may seem pointless, your life is not wasted. You're still alive. The fact that you have a job in this economy is a blessing. What is it that you do for work? When I used to be able to work, I would try and concentrate on helping others. I would focus on trying to help them be happy, and that would help me get through the days easier. I care for you, and I know that you're life will get better.
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