Hi, I just want to say thank you for reading this and I apologise in advance for the grammar mistakes but I can't be bothered to proof read it. I am 19 and have been suffering with serve anxiety for a few years and from this stemmed depression. I started uni last year but dropped out due to my anxiety. I have no idea on what I want to do with my life now and my anxiety is stopping me from even attempting to find things. I feel so inferior talking to my friends because they are in uni, loving life, whereas I am a drop out. I went to the doctors 3 times about my anxiety this year and they just gave me information on it. It might be that I am not explaining myself properly but it feels as if I am not being taken seriously. The doctors are having problems at the moment as well so it takes around 3-4 weeks, if not more, to get a doctors appointment. I know I am 19 but my life feels over. I think back and realised how fast the 19 years have gone and in another 19 years, I will be nearly 40 which terrifies me. Everyday, unless I have work, I will wake up at around 11am and stay on my laptop all day until 12-2am and then sleep. To make things worse, Christmas is coming up which means an increase in hours at work and I know that I won't be able to do handle it again. I barely managed last Christmas and if my parents had more< edit mod total eclipse method>, then I would have taken an overdose. My manager has already said that I will be doing more hours this Christmas compared to what I did last year which I can't refuse because I need the money. I know that this seems trivial compared to the issues other people are having but it isn't going to get better so why should I keep on living a wasted life?