Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by oval, Dec 11, 2011.
Why should I *not* kill myself right now? I wanna numb everything
I'm sorry you're hurting and are so desperate. You're in the right place, we care about you, but you need to care for yourself, too. Almost everyone here has been where you're at, so we do understand.
A good reason in general is for the devastation you would serve on your family and friends, even if you think no one cares. And especially this time of year, you would guarantee that they never enjoyed the holidays again, there would also be the emptiness and loss you left, rather than try to sort your problems with the encouragement and support from the people here.
And suicide isn't numbness. It's more about not giving yourself a chance to feel better.
I hope you keep posting, there are friends to be made here, starting with me. You can feel free to PM me anytime, I'm off and on the computer, but the first thing I check is my PMs, and respond as soon as I get them.
Things can get better for you.
hi lefty, thank you for your reply.
im thinking about killing myself daily. but recently it has become a bit to strong where i dont know how to keep me fromit in the very moment. its impulses from one second to the other. that night in paticular was this impulsiveness mixed with pills. they numbed everything but i wanted more.
my mood swings have gotten alot worse and i dont know how to deal with them anymore. when something brings me down or irritates me now its a big explosion everywhere..all over the place.. and i think now im just gonna fucking start slaying people and then set myself on fire. its too much now. im self harming again and think my feelings will rip me apart one day. im just gonna explode. when i feel suicidal i cant bring myself to say anything to anyone around me. cant open my mouth.
i just moved twice and havent seen a therapist in a good while now. im gonna schedule an appointment in the beginning of january.
i met some nice people here that i talk to through IM or email but generally on the forums im not really getting much help unless im feeling alright already.
thank you so much for responding
Where do you think your suicidal feelings come from?
Does it come totally from the inside in your mind only? Or do things on the outside make you unhappy?
If you know where your unhappiness comes from you might have some control over it... Take care.
When you said you weren't getting help on the forums, I hope this one wasn't included. Please understand that there is only so much we can do over the internet. If it's live interaction you want, we have chat rooms. But we can let you know you're not alone, you're among people who care, a lot of whom have been or currently are, where you are, including myself.
I've found this forum a good place to let my frustrations and hurts out, without the fear of being judged or blown off.
You're important, and you deserve goodness in your life. We can offer suggestions, support and encouragement.
You're among friends, so please post more and let us know how it's going, we're good listeners.