For the past 3 years or so I have been seriously considering suicide, the only thought that has stopped me is the pain I would cause my family (dad, mom and brothers and sisters). But lately that thought doesn't seem to be enough. I know it is a horrible thing to do your family but right now I just don't want to go on. I've had enough of this life. It makes me cry just to think about the pain they will go through but I just really want to do it. And old friend has a gun, I'm thinking about getting that and calling it a day. I don't want to do it but I just can't think of any other reason to not do it. If anyone can think of why else I shouldn't please let me know because I plan on getting my friends gun in about 1-2 days, when he gets back.