Only time I ever feel at peace is, when I'm laying down, just before sleep. I imagine a beautiful world, beyond the world I live in, as I drift off to sleep. The human race, makes the world an unbearable place to live. I've tossed the idea of suicide, because sleep is the only time I feel peace, and that's like being dead, only I wake up to another day of human cruelty. Each day the idea of permanent sleep, feels more appealing. Truth is no one cares !!! No one ever takes suicide seriously, till after one committs suicide. Then all those associated with the person, wonders why? Well, answer is simple, why? didn't you care while they were alive. Why didn't you love that person ? People committ suicide, cause no one loves or cares about them. My family tells me, I love you, I care. Actions speak louder then words. Where are they now? Where is everyone? No one ever takes suicide seriously, till it actually happens, but then it's to late, but some survive. Truth is, no one ever cares, until tragedy occurs. No matter, what the warning signs are. I'm not afraid to die, if I was afraid, I would have never served in the military. I loved, cared & protected the very same people, that doesn't give a hoot about me. Most would agree, we are here, because we are tired of giving and not recieving. I have done nothing but love, majority of my life, and never recieved any in return. Even now, when I talk of suicide, no one loves me, no one listens, in the real world, to show that I matter. My daughter tell's me, I love you. Of course you love me, but do you love me for all I've done for you or do you love me, for who I am. She never hesitates to call, when she needs something, any other time, I forget I have a daughter, that's goes with everyone else to. They only call, when they need something. Now, I'm diabled not able to give, where are they? Gone !! I'm tired of battling my health alone, on top of that battle everyone else, just to get some help. Look, I care about myself, I'm trying to get help, but eventually my battles will consume me. And now, I'm at the point of suicide, reason I'm at this forum. It saddens me, I have recieved more, love, support, understanding from forums, past & present, then I do in the real world. I like to stay up to the point of exhaustion, cause when I lay down to sleep, I feel completely at peace, and most times, don't want to wake up. Reason, I haven't committ suicide is my daughter, once I let go of her, which is getting easier, there's no turning back. She's the only attachment, I have to this world.