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Why tell?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by merlinrune, May 14, 2012.

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  1. merlinrune

    merlinrune Member

    Why tell someone that you are in a crisis? If I were truly in a crisis, I would tell no one.

    It would only get someone to stop me from jumping off the cliff.

    I tried that on more than one occasion and got thrown into a hospital. I totally freaked out because of the fact that I was locked in and the panic was overwhelming.

    The only problem is that my therapist is really good. I would say at the expert level in his field. I cannot hide anything from him and I too am medically trained.

    I will only say at this point that I am scared of losing control. Enough said.
  2. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Sometimes some of us have too as things build up so much that cliff is only option.I let depression build for 26 yrs without telling anyone and wish all the probs i let build up i had somewhere to reach out.Back in my day was sweet stuff all now its good to when in a crisis situation good to vent good to learn how to deal with the situation before it all gets over whelming
  3. Brokengirl123

    Brokengirl123 Well-Known Member

    Because sometimes, for some of us, even when we are on the brink of suicide...we still have a tiny shred of desperation and hope left and think that by reaching out to someone it will somehow help us or cure our problems that lead us to be in a crisis situation in the first place.

    Though sometimes it is just confirm our thoughts and intentions in writing and it somehow makes it more valid for another pair of eyes to see. Eg I wouldn't leave a suicide note if I thought not one person would see it. It would be a waste of time.

    This place is like a diary that talks back to you sometimes, it's great.

    (Please note, for the above I don't speak for everyone.)
  4. merlinrune

    merlinrune Member

    Why do I always have to be the strong one? I am married to a really nice man. The problem is that he is a worrying, OCD, its all about me kinda person. He is not mean and I know that he doesn't realize that he commands so much attention and is such a needy person.

    I am the laid back one. I am the one who knows that you go with the flow......until the PTSD and depression kicked me in the face. From that moment on, I have one nerve left and everyone seems to be standing on it. Especially the worry wart hubby.

    I cannot handle the stress of my own illness and his needy behavior. Its like stop everything because my life is more important than yours. I am the person who is sick and yet, all I get is that "you must concentrate, not forget to do this or do that."

    I don't have time to be sick because there are too many people in the world who believe that I am here just for their support, guidance, and secretarial support.

    I have been off from work becuase of my illness for over two years. I have had to fight my employer in Equal Employment Court (soon) and I have had to file three times for workers compensation of which I have been turned down and had to request a hearing which happened three weeks ago.

    I rely on my husband for money. I AM A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME!!!!

    As for a suicide note. No, I won't leave one. Why? I have nothing to say or if I did say anything, it would fall on deaf ears.

    Since being forced off work by the psychiatrist and the therapist, I feel like I am fading into walls. Even now, the hubby wants to know who I am talking to. I feel like a doormat to the world, a burden, and insignificant.

    I have never been in this position ever since I have worked for over 33 years and then BAM, it stopped in the blink of an eye.

    We won't even speak of the nightmares, panic attacks, and the flashbacks.

    I no longer have anything left to bring me joy or give me a reason to continue. It makes no difference. I just want to go.
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