Why the deadly change?

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by WhyMeWhy, Feb 19, 2008.

  1. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I've been up for over a day not to miss a doc apptmnt. Why did I bother? They discontinued my sleeping pills to give me the weakest of benzos they could use..... this will destroy me! I needed sleep but no, they think they know what they're doing but what they're doing is driving me further from reality & into a deadly abyss from which I will never escape.... I have no faith in the pills they gave me. I've been on them in the past I think I would know me & the effect on me better than some quack. I can't even take the entire amount-it'd do nothing because of my tolerance so I'm SOL bigtime. Too bad I need meds to survive the mental anguish I'm suffering from because no one will give me anything that helps me calm down. I'm rabidly suicidal w/ the method & the means, all I need to do is call poison control to make sure what I will do is fatal and unstoppably sure-fire. The facility's fucking w/ my head! I went there w/ high expectations and was let down & now I know they really don't care whether I live or die, whether I suffer or not! This cold hearted act leaves me only 1 option...... I have to mainline the shit. That is the only way and I will be seeking out how to.... I just want to feel better and not worse like this or I'll die from lack of proper state of mind!
  2. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I broke down and tried the pills: Clonazepam(Klonopin). Some will argue that these pills are strong enough for me, but they only work when mix w/ dyphenhydramine for me. So they're workin a slight calmness which is better than nothing I suppose.
  3. zetaf

    zetaf Well-Known Member

    Try jogging a few blocks each day. This can really make the difference sometimes.
  4. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Physical exuastion does not work on my mind. I've tried that.