I've been up for over a day not to miss a doc apptmnt. Why did I bother? They discontinued my sleeping pills to give me the weakest of benzos they could use..... this will destroy me! I needed sleep but no, they think they know what they're doing but what they're doing is driving me further from reality & into a deadly abyss from which I will never escape.... I have no faith in the pills they gave me. I've been on them in the past I think I would know me & the effect on me better than some quack. I can't even take the entire amount-it'd do nothing because of my tolerance so I'm SOL bigtime. Too bad I need meds to survive the mental anguish I'm suffering from because no one will give me anything that helps me calm down. I'm rabidly suicidal w/ the method & the means, all I need to do is call poison control to make sure what I will do is fatal and unstoppably sure-fire. The facility's fucking w/ my head! I went there w/ high expectations and was let down & now I know they really don't care whether I live or die, whether I suffer or not! This cold hearted act leaves me only 1 option...... I have to mainline the shit. That is the only way and I will be seeking out how to.... I just want to feel better and not worse like this or I'll die from lack of proper state of mind!