why the fuck me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Jan 26, 2012.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    mom has gone completely off the deep-end. her paranoid schizophrenia has gone way out of control and no one is doing anything about it.

    this story happened maybe 5 years ago. My ex therapist (whom I kept contact and was close to) was taking me to a camp place for young teens and adults, she, her husband and 3 year old son were driving me there because it was in route to their cabin close by. Anyways I don't exactly remember why but the 3 year old pinched my breast. He was instantly reprimanded not to do that. So when I came home I just casually told my mom about it.

    Now she says that my ex therapist is encouraging this behavior, making him a deviant, and that its not normal, and that they are pedophiles and that I am a pedophile (ME) because of that and will be taken to court, and even if they prove I'm not, when I have kids they will take them away because of it.

    I'm just without words that my own mother said that to my face and then just acted like everything was normal. WHAT THE FUCK?

    then she says I look like a guy because my hair is short...then she starts saying I'm going to have to prostitute myself to get money for food, 'cause she won't be able to help me soon...it's already hard for me to even ask her for a bit of food...

    everytime she comes over, it's the same shit, I'm a lazy slob, stupid like my dad, dirty like my grand ma(who shits herself and leaves it dripping on herself and the floor) (who had mice in her home and it was so dirty it was like a bad scene of hoarders)


    I'm just so tired...it's not fair...I'm all for taking responsibility and dealing with things but this is just too much...it's like she's enjoying torturing me like that...and I'm so stupid for letting her do that, because I need her, I have no one else...no one cares in my family, or around me...I literally have no one....
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I feel so sad reading this...I hope you know that your mother's perceptions are impaired and that you are not anything that she says to you...please PM me if I can be there to remind you that you do count and that there are people who care
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I always so strong about it, not let it bother me for too long, but now...I just want to die, life is not worth living if I'm in pain all the time and my own mother thinks I'm shit...

    tonight, I'm at a low, and I keep crying, the tears fall and I can't stop them...I just want it to end...I really do
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm sorry to hear about the way your mom talks to you and treats you. :hug: Is there a way you can distance yourself from her so you don't have to be around her much? and remember that she's not herself to try not to take what she says to heart.
     
  5. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Wow, that's absolutely horrible. I know it must hurt but I think you have to keep in mind that your mom is sick and you need to be strong.