It's been a rotten day. One of those days where nothing goes right, the weather is shitty, you come to the realization that nobody respects or appreciates you, and that you're a cheap tool for others to use. It's been one of those days that refuses to die. It's nearly midnight now and I'm just now returning home from a long day. Way too long. I day where I worked my ass off for my boss and it culminated with getting called stupid. I mean, Christ, I'm just a man. I make mistakes. I can't be perfect all the time. I look around and my coworkers and their long lunch breaks, their oblivious attitudes, their increasingly long smoke breaks and their happy lives with pretty little wives and bouncing babies. Fucking picket fences and dogs in the yard and visiting in-laws at Thanksgiving. My last Thanksgiving meal was a microwavable burrito. Looking at this logically, all I can figure is that I'm all fucked up. That's the hardest thing to come to grips with. Job I'm not good at, no friends, no family. I'm such a piece of shit. I'd avoid me too. I wanted things to be different; I really did. Three years ago, when everything was on the skids, I managed to walk away from the edge. I resolved to redouble my efforts in my career, to work harder, to try to be smarter and more attractive. Three years later, I have nothing to show for it. Same job, no friends, no family. Just a big fucking pile of failure. I should have looked at the edge and gone over laughing. Hell, sometimes I want to just get this over with, but I'm of being an even bigger failure, so I can't even do that. Such a fucking slave to the flesh. Goddamn it.