Why the Hell should I live?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Luppe, Oct 24, 2011.

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  1. Luppe

    Luppe Account Closed

    Seriously somebody talk to me I'm on the edge here my life is terrible.

    Raped by my best friend of seven years. Didn't tell anyone for two years until I basically had a nervous breakdown.

    I got heavily into cocaine because of it, blew all my money on drugs and ruined my life.

    Parents do nothing about my sister abusing me despite me crying and screaming at her that all I needed was a home to recover in while getting over what happened to me.

    Sister has literally not acknowledged my existance for ten years now, laughs at me crying about being raped. Losing my sister was like a bereavement.

    Just got to uni and don't relate to anyone here.

    Religious nutjob of an uncle constantly trying to get me into the cult that is the catholic church, in an aggressive manner.

    My depressed mother hasn't worked in twenty years and relies on my Dad with a heart condition to provide for my sister and her, and her deadbeat brother who has been sleeping on our sofa for TWO YEARS. I'm just waiting for my Dad to keel over and it kills me.

    Cannot answer sister back when she abuses me as my parents for some reason, take the abuse, and ONLY when I answer her back does it become an arguement. My Dad has chest pains and in order to keep him alive I have to endure abuse by my sister. My Dad's life depends on me suffering in silence.

    Have to take abuse from religious nutjob of an uncle and the deadbeat on our sofa.

    My ex and first love of three years is now married to someone I knew in primary school to this day the betrayal still makes me angry. She was supposed to be my mate.

    Ex broke it off with me because I confided in him about the rape (yeah, you read right) and wishes I kept silent about it because it "upset him"

    One ex hit me when I told him a girl he knew didn't commit suicide (checked the death records) she just wanted him to stop stalking her.

    Other ex had child pornography on his computer.

    My "family" clean everything I touch in the house, in front of me, so that my oh so perfect sister can use it. Because she says I'll "infect" it. What a way to treat a rape victim.

    They don't like doing it, they're not abusive, she just wears them down.

    In short, I want to die. Why the Hell am I even alive I mean everyone who was supposed to care about me let me down. Is there hope??? Someone talk to me I keep thinking about killing myself and the thoughts aren't going away

    I really need a friend I don't want to kill myself but it's getting close :'(
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2011
  2. Aloe

    Aloe Member

    I dont want to kill myself either but i feel that there is no other option either i mean if this is how things are going to be they way theyve always been no matter what one does wheres the hope i want hope to a light something if share it with you but im just as lost as you
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