WHY THEY DID IT ( possiable trigger )

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by White Dove, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    admin, if this is in the wrong place then please put it in the right place.. i placed it here because these were loved and lost. if you need to move then please do so..

    Why they suicided.. possiable trigger.. but is an in depth to what they felt when they did it and the pain it left to there family..

    me i have no family and no one that cares or loves me so it doesnt matter when i do it but if you got a family. DONT suicide cause it will hurt them..

    with me.. im dying anyway and it doesnt matter and neither do i matter to anyone. i guess im gonna be a special angel now,,,,, and perhaps be honored if not i dont care and it doesnt matter but these had there reasons , there hurt, and their pain went as far and as deep as mine is right now so i guess they are in somewhat way me.. They were called attention seeking, and other things.. like me so in a way i am just like these people on here.. i dont have anyone that loves me or cares but please if you got just one family member then dont do it.. i have no one an a excuse to do it. im dying anyway, but you all got a chance at a second life, dont ever give up that chance.. take it one day at a time. i care for you and did care for you.. dont do it just because i made the choice to do it. it is my choice and i coose to do it myself because im already facing death with cancer.. if you are seriously suicidal reach out to someone who can help you and care.. i did but it didnt help me, nothing can cure my cancer, no one cares or loves me. i would be doing them a favor in all reality.. at least i can not be here to cause anymore hurt, but please dont do anything cause you all got a chance..

    i may be a dummy stupid white dove that others see me as mean, uncaring, emotionally abusive, hurtful , and who knows what else but i got a heart that cares for you. so dont do it, you got a second chance or third or fourth.. i dont.. that makes it a huge difference to me.. i cant be loved, i never was loved in my entire life.. oh yep they would say they loved me but in all reality they didnt , was a lie , guess they got their kick out of hurting me and telling me they care and love me then leaving me, well wont be victomized anymore now.. take care everyone and God Bless you all.

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2007
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    thankyou for sharing that website, it's so sad :( but good to read.
  3. Shyfear

    Shyfear Well-Known Member

    I love that website. My sister is on it <3 I'm building a memorial of her on it as well. <3<3

    I understand why you want to do it, I really do. I've been worried about you since your last attempt. Just because you have no family, doesn't mean you have no friends. You have many friends on here! I imagine the pain you've gone through and are currently going through is so awful. But please dont think you wont hurt anyone because of it. I promise that you will. I know it's hard, You are in one of the worst situations, but you have to try to hold on.

    I'm glad you're okay :hug: I love you
  4. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    U say u don't get a second, third or fourth chance but we do...U say u have cancer and that its killing u...however, as I've previously posted to u and asked u a question (but got no response) cancer doesn't necessary kill you, it depends on the type of cancer, the strength of the cancer, where the cancer is...my neice was born with cancer we were told she had days or months maybe she's now 10 and still has cancer, she's been in remission and the cancer has returned but she proved that despite what they docs said she survived.

    What type of cancer is it that u have as I keep reading the word cancer and people asking u but u never seem to answer it...u also mention about getting triggered (and u seem to be triggered by everything) so I was also wondering what it is that triggers u, and how it makes u feel... (its proven that it takes 90-120 seconds for a trigger to become an active trigger, emotional trauma memory).

    Sorry if u find this offensive, I'm just confused...I'm not having ago or starting an argument, I was just wondering cause if u maybe answer some of the questions people ask u, u might find someone who has/had or knows someone with the type of cancer u have who has survived and they might be able to support you.

    Sorry if u find this offensive.
  5. life

    life Well-Known Member

    this post is%100 triggering for me! and people who read this site will get encourged....i dont understand what does this go to do with it;why do u wanna know why did they do it? in that site is says why and HOW they did it.......it triggered me;and it can trigger other people so ....I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY...
  6. RunningAway

    RunningAway Well-Known Member

    I have also asked these questions and as a medical doctor am confused.
  7. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    its posted in my threads what type it is and all..

    it is called Hepatocellular Carcinoma ( = spelling ??? ) I am concidered as advanced metastatic liver cancer if you are a doctor then you know what im talking about by that statement .i have told others before about this type in my other threads. it is malignant and has spread to my kidneys ( which i take a drug called nexavar because it is in my kidneys now or you can call it by the pharmcy name Sorafenib - if your a doc then you know what im talking about ) it has went to my colon, ovaries ,pancreas , gallbladder and a spot is now on my lung but wont be confirmed until my next doc appointment and biopsy is done.

    Now rather i got that with taking the OD of pills and mixing it with whisky or rather i got it by some other means i just dont know.. the OD happened 2 years ago ( or was it 3 ?? ) and that with drinking whisky and vodca and other things including mixed drinks did not help, which i still drink to numb my pain..

    what triggers me? calling me a liar or attention seeking... i am not that stuff no more , that was my past and as much as i have tried to bury that people always through it back up in my face.. it will not leave me alone until i die

    BTW- you know how much that costs for me to use it per month 5000$ per month and that is at me taking it twice a day at 400mg , now take in the fact that i dont have insurance and make less then 1000$ per month.. then you will know why its hard for me not to give up.. understand??? so what do i do for pain meds? i take over the counter pain meds where it says take 2 i am taking 12 at a time now ( and thats extra strength tablets )and drinking to numb the pain.. its the only way i know how to cope with it so please dont judge me on it??
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2007
  8. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    sorry to hear about your sister hun :hug:

    love you too!
  9. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    your welcome :hug: could be a trigger to some?? then again it does have some pretty good resources and might make one think about it before attemting???