why to wait?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dreaminghome, Nov 29, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. dreaminghome

    dreaminghome Well-Known Member

    I'm reading up posts on here, I see everywhere people saying to wait another day, to wait 24 hours, to hold on. It doesn't really surprise me, I've seen this frequently. But why? What will tomorrow bring different than today? What will be different enough to change the situation for the better? Actually, tomorrow could be worse. And to be honest generally it is, at least that's how it is in my life, wish yours is different. What will happen tomorrow that will make it worth waiting?
  2. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Nothing will change. I just need to wait for the woman to come get my dog, which will be around Christmas time, so I may as well make it meaningful to me by doing it on the worst f*cking holiday ever created.
  3. 1victor

    1victor Well-Known Member

    You just have to take a look at statistics. We have 30,000 sucessful suicides every year in the States. Most of them are young and healthy people under 20 yo. I believe that at some point something can be changed in their lives.
  4. dreaminghome

    dreaminghome Well-Known Member

    The numbers also tell me that for 30,000 times, 'something' wasn't done. Could it actually? I mean, there'd be 30,000 different tomorrows if they lived? Or they'd be just 30,000 regulartomorrows?
  5. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    That's exactly it. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. You wait 24 hours, and you keep waiting, because you can keep getting through. Nothing will change though, if you can't be bothered to help yourself, to change something yourself. If you're too lazy, if you can't be bothered to fight for happiness, if you expect everyone to do it for you, you'll never be happy. It's the only reason other people are, because they fought for it. Nothing in life comes easy if it's worth having. Tomorrow can be a better day if you let it be.
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It only serves to give those that ask you to hold on to those 24 hours, a sense of peace of mind. It does the opposite of that to those that are asked to hold on. More time to anguish over, more things to think about, feel guilty for. It isnt really a fair statement to make, but I guess it is the best others have to offer. It is said in a kind way though and not meant to bring you more pain. Unfortunately that never seems to be the case. I've spent 9 years of waiting for tomorrows. I think the odds of things getting better speak for themselves. For me I finally decided it's time to face the facts of my situation. It aint gonna get better or change. For some others it may though. Maybe you need to hold out a little longer. A chance to fight your odds and make them turn out in your favor. For those that say the words, 24 hours is just that. For those that hear them ..... that's a lifetime!!
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry I dont want to offend you but how can you prove what you have just said? How can you justify to me, your philosophy (sp)?

    I HAVE FOUGHT!!!!! Almost everyday of my life. And now the fight is over. It isnt in me anymore. I fought in the courts, but wrong won over right. I fought through the systems but wrong won over right. I fought with everything I have, for everything I have. I have never expected anyone or anything to do for me. I have always done for myself and those I love and care for. I dont wake up each morning wanting it to bad. But outside forces keep throwing things at me that I cant change or make better.

    What you say isnt true for evey persons situation. It cant be. Cuz if it is then my fight and life has meant nothing at all.
  8. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    itmahanh speaks truth.
  9. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Everyone here understands your pain right now especially and I am very sorry for that.You've seen on your thread how many people care, but this isn't what this is about right now, I just wanted you to know that I'm another person who cares.

    Anyway, I know you have fought, I'm not saying that you've not. Sometimes it's harder for others though. You've been close to suicide before, have you not? But then something keeps you holding on, something or someone, somewhere. Your fight is not lost yet, you are still here, therefore you are still fighting, and you will keep fighting because you are stronger than what your feelings are letting you believe. I guess at the end, know philosophy can be proved or disproved. The argument here, will always be that if you went through with said suicide, then you didn't fight long enough, however, there will also be the argument that you did fight long enough but it just never happened for you.
    I guess it's a belief of which people can hold onto. If you're feeling at your worst though, at least things can't get any worse than they are now, and you're coping, you're getting through each day and you will be happy after you get through it all. I'm sure that when your child has their 18th birthday, when they get married, when you become a grand mother, all these events will make you happy, no? Correct me if I'm wrong. It's just a matter of fighting, it's up to you to decide whether or not it is worth it. I do believe though, the harder you fight, the happier you will eventually be.
    A lot of people however do not want to fight, they're lazy and want everything to be done for them. I am not accusing you of this, it is very obvious you are fighting with everything you have, however a lot of people aren't like you. They don't want to put in the effort. It is them who will never have a chance of happiness, because it is them who don't want to work for it.
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    And the sad thing about it is I spent my lifetime fighting. Sure I'm proud of my fights and that I was able to endure them. But now at the end of my days I see I've never found real happiness. Yes I have had wonderful times, giving birth to and raising my children to name one. But never true happiness for me. Too much time was spent fighting just to get by. And those that expect life to be handed to them by others? They've wasted a lifetime too. It's frustrating to know that they took the easy ride while I worked so hard and we both end up the same final stop in the end.
  11. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    That is where our beliefs differ. I believe you will get happiness if you keep fighting for it, I really do. You are such a strong person, you've helped many here. You're a deserving person. At the end of the day though, as you've said, it's your own choice.
  12. dreaminghome

    dreaminghome Well-Known Member

    I second all what you have said here.
    I have attempted suicide first time when I was 7. Since then I kept fighting, it's been 16 years since then, I didn't get better, I am still floating exactly at the same level of unhappiness I was when I was 7. So, was it so worth fighting? I'm the first saying I believe in tomorrow, but beyond what I believe, logics tell me that after this time, tomorrow holds nothing.
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I think it has more to do with how or what you were raised to believe in yourself. Most of the important people in my life are the ones that expect life to be handed to them. I am one of the people that does the handing. After many years of living your life that way it becomes too much of a battle to try and change that. You have spent up all the 'fight' on so many other things, its gone when you need it the most. Some people want to change, some people can, some people wont change and some cant. I'm glad that there are people that holding on for another tomorrow can work. And I'm even more glad that there are people there to keep trying to get others to see it. At some point you just become blind to all the positive that others keep trying to make you see or believe. You're just too damn tired of it all.

    Dreaminghome I'm sorry didnt mean to turn your thread into a Soapbox item. Guess I get a little riled when others seem to know what's best or will work for me or others. I know it is all offered as a way to try and get one another through the dark spells. And I hope I havent offended anyone with my way of seeing things or given anyone reasons not to try for those tomorrows. It is all what you believe and just exactly where you find yourself at this moment in time. Please everyone keep grabbing on to whatever will get you through it!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2009
  14. molotov

    molotov Well-Known Member

    I keep hanging on because not all of my days, minutes, hours, weeks are full-on code-red suicidal, in fact sometimes things are pretty good, and even if they don't stay pretty good I try to make myself imagine a future possible "pretty good" period when I am having a "can't eat, can't sleep, can't stop sleeping, can't leave the house, can't talk, can't move, can't stop crying, can't stop planning my own death" period (be it 3 days or 3 months). Even if it doesn't immediately make me feel all sunshine and light, it does give me a sort of abstract goal that keeps me from going further. Sort of like a hold button.

    I tell other people to keep hanging on because some people are like me and they really do just need to wait it out, wait until the worst passes and they can make decisions again. I know a lot of people here have been this way for a long time, same here, I mean I wrote myself notes about how much I hated myself and fantasized about my own funeral a whole hell of a lot at 6, 7, 10, 12.. but I don't think very many people here have thought about it day and night without ever ever stopping for years and years, more often it is really terrible for a while but then you wait a bit and then instead of Code Red you're at Code Reddish-Orange or Code Orange or something and then you start trying to pick up the pieces. And all these happy smiley "think of the sunsets and the children and what you will say to God and how beautiful your life could be tomorrow" posts, the fact that I can't relate to them at all tells me that whoever is posting them has a much happier mindset than I do, which tells me that some people really do get out of it and go on to live happy lives full of God and sunsets and children and beauty.

    Because sometimes people check out before they have found the right diagnosis, the right treatment, the right living situation, the right people, the right whatever. Before they have explored ALL of their other options. I think most suicidal people fundamentally still believe that living with less pain would be preferable to dying, and even if they don't know how to get there maybe there are other people out there who have gone through the same thing and can help.

    Because there are studies that show that, of people who were saved from their attempts, between 57 and 90 percent were glad they were saved. My source on that is a book on suicide methods so I am fairly confident it is unbiased reporting.

    Because I watched the movie The Bridge on Youtube and they interviewed a guy who had survived the jump and he said the last thought that went through his mind before he hit the water was "I don't want to die." His legs were broken into a million tiny pieces but he survived because the dolphins in the water held him up.

    And because if other people feel the way I feel and they check out, it gives me less hope that I will make it through. That is probably not just the healthiest attitude in the world but it is the truth.

  15. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    I live each day with a goal to reach the next. Never know what tomorrow brings. To me its like reading a book. I want to see what the next chapter brings. Each day is exhausting. I lay down at night and in some weird way, maybe its dilusional, I live my dreams.
    Even if tomorrow brings on more stress than I can handle, I know the next day it will no longer be as stressful as it once was.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.