Why Try? Ever ask yourself this?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Luliby, Sep 10, 2006.

  1. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    To try or not to try, that is the question:

    (ok, sappy intro but check this out:)

    have you ever felt like your digging a hole so deep you have to struggle to get out. You defend your position of why you should not "keep trying" to get out with two key facts. 1). You have tried and failed, and this has broken your trust 2). It hurts to fail, and we avoid pain when possible.

    I’m going to restate ther points like this.
    1). You have tried and failed so it’s difficult for you to trust and become vulnerable again. A lack of hope stops you from trying again. This pain stops you from trying again.

    2). It hurts to fail so it's difficult to keep trying when you believe the end result will be painful. Like getting an electric shock everytime you touch your door door handle. Soon you'll start to cringe and fear going through that door..

    What is the result and what do you gain from not trying again? You gain “safety”. You won’t be hurt or rejected again. You won't fail again and suffer that emotional pain. But does this safety reduce your emotional pain ... or increase it? Because by not trying again you also loose any chance of achieving the relationship you desire, or the happiness and peace you are struggling to attain. In the short term not trying appears to have the advantage because it saves you from conflict and pain, but in the long term it’s cauasing you a LOT MORE pain.

    Paulo Coelho:
    "But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for."

    How willing are you to accept the fact that every time you have tried and failed in the past does NOT mean every time you try you will fail in the future? I can’t see the future. It’s possible you will fail and fail again but the law of averages is in your favor.

    Is it worth trying for? Is it worth fighting for? If you answered, "yes" than lets start talking about HOW you're going to try. Let's start talking about those safe circles that can draw you closer and closer to your goals.

    Is it trying and failing with relationships?:
    I can't stress how much this has to do with trust and frequency. And by frequency I mean two things: The number of times we try. And meeting and receiving support from people on the same frequency or channel as ouselves.

    I sometimes think of it like this, there are a lot of channels on the radio. I have specific stations I like to listen to and specific channels I don't. (For example, I don't like country)

    If you are honest to yourself you will select the radio stations you personally like. However, when your in someone else's car how often have we faked a smile and put up with a station or two that we don't really like. Even going so far as to say, "Oh yeah, this is good."

    If your hanging out with people just because life has dragged you into their path but they are not really your kind of crowd then you may find yourself faking a smile just to fit in. And when you become real to them, express your real thoughts and opinions, they are a bit shocked and back away. It's because you and they are not on the same frequency.

    So we begin by discovering who YOU really are. What do you enjoy? Not what crowd do you think you should be in but what crowd are you the most comfortable with? The most real with? Once we get you into a group of people with the same frquency then you will have significantly better luck establishing closer relationships. If your having trouble connecting in relationships it could be because as you try to establish deeper connections with people of a different frequency it just makes noise, not harmony. When you are with others who enjoy some of the same activities, political views, religous views, music, hobbies, movies, etc.. (not all because there is only one actual YOU. But enough common interest that you can and naturally WILL draw closer to them.

    See, on this site we share the same struggle of depression and trust issues. We can talk about some very intimate and real experiences and thoughts with each other and that establishes a connection. Time = intamacy. The more time you share with others on the same frequency the closer you draw to them. Think of drawing closer to people as turning up the volume. As you draw closer to them your turning up you radio station and they are turning up theirs. If their playing ballads and your playing rock theres going to be a lot of noise and the natural response is to turn down the volume again, or back away from the intamacy.

    It's not you! It's not rejection if your playing ballads and they're playing rock and the chance for intimacy fails and people draw apart. Your not somehow defective or broken. I want you to repeat that. I AM NOT DEFECTIVE OR BROKEN!

    You are unique and people are complex. We get the right group of people together and you can make some great music! You can be real. You can draw closer and more intamately to them.

    So, what are your interests, hobbies, favorite books, movies, subjects in school, sports, and anything you deem important to the real you? Take the time to know these things about yourself so you can connect to others.

    Is it trying and failing with goals?:

    1). "don't believe the lie that things are hopeless because they feel that way. That is a chemically induced emotion." Yes, all emotions are chemically induced. But have you ever had a chemically induced emotion that was not real? Well, the emotion was real but their was no event or anything that caused it.. For example: lets say you took a drug that made you deleriously happy. Even though you are going to a funeral and normally you would be sad and experience deep grief and loss, etc. You don't, because of this artificially chemically induced "happy" pill you feel like your watching a funny movie.

    Depression usually starts off with an event, a trauma, a period of long sadness / despair / hopelessness. Depression can also be genetic and have no point of origin at all. So, basically it comes down to not being able to cope with what is "normal" for most people. This does not make you weak or less than others. If I slipped a "depression" pill into your drink and you felt sadness / despair / hopelessness is it because your weak? Of course not, no more than if you took a drug that makes you happy and you go to a loved ones funeral and felt happy are you therefore happy about the loss? No. The emotion does not fit your true response because it is overpowered by an artificial chemically induced emotion not triggered by the event or your natural thoughts, but triggered by a pill. I didn't slip a depression pill into your drink; however, the same rule applies. You didn't ask for depression. It's not because your weak. But if your brain is "stuck" on the emotions of sadness / despair / hopelessness, as in depression, then you will feel that way REGARDLESS of the fact that your life is not hopeless or full of despair and sadness. The emotion does not fit your true response because it is overpowered by an artificial chemically induced emotion not triggered by your life or your natural thoughts, but triggered by depression. And YES, artifically induced because without this illness, without sadness / despair / hopelessness stuck in your mind all the time you would feel differently. Your emotions would result from your thoughts and your environment truthfully. Yes, your feelings are real but they are not the TRUTH! They may be true some of the time because everyone feels saddness / despair / hopelessness some of the time, but not ALL the time! Not even a majority of the time unless you are under a trauma or suffering a loss. So don't believe the "lie" that because you feel depressed most of the time your are weak or you are somehow messing up your life and thats why you feel this way. Or the idea that you don't matter and no one cares. It may feel that way but ask yourself, really think non-judgementally for a sec, is that true? Be on your guard against feelings of sadness / despair / hopelessness and really question it. Because it's like wearing dark sunglasses.. everything looks dark.. but is it? If it's high noon and there is no solar eclipse QUESTION the validity that everythig is truely dark!

    There is a saying, if the shoe doesn't fit don't wear it. Similar to that, if the emotion doesn't fit don't believe it!
  2. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    2). "You are not the sum of your sorrow and despair, there is more, much more."
    Really? Like what?

    You are going to have despairing thoughts, thoughts of hopelessness and sadness just because you feel that way. And your going to have those feelings even though they contradict your real thoughts, beleifs, and opinions because you have depression. This is the problem of association and there is a lot of study and information on just this issue. Word associations, for example. If I type a word and you read it what is the first word, thought or image that pops into your head? (write it down now cause there is another exercise with this later)

    apple pie
    a perfect 10

    We associate thoughts and words to experiences and feelings all day long, probably all night long in our dreams as well. If you are feeling depressed, sadness / despair / hopelessness this is going to effect your associations. Make sense? Your thoughts are going to be filtered through sadness / despair / hopelessness. Again, like the sunglasses. Lets say your wearing dark sunglasses and it's night time. Now, it's so dark you are practically blind. This is going to effect your actions and behaviors. You are less confident walking because you may stumble. Your going to reach out with your hands and feel around and do all kinds of behaviors that you would not normally do if you were not wearing the sunglasses. We know that depression effects the way a person thinks. And we know the way a person thinks effects their actions and behaviors. And it's not weakness. if I put a blindfold on Mr. Universe or a rocket scientist and asked them to cross a busy street.. they are not going to boldly step out and get across very quickly. We would expect them to be timid, uncertain. They may put their hands out in front of them and inch along very slowly. Meanwhile, people without blindfolds are getting across without much problem. However, if we were to put a blindfold on any of those who got across without much effort prior they would probably behave much like Mr. universe or the rocket scientist. Further, imagine the blindfolds are invisible to other people. Others would probably wonder why those with blindfolds on are so slow, what can they possibly be stumbling over and whats with the weird arm gestures, lol. Also, they are not likely to have much patience with them, maybe cars will honk their horns, etc. People with depression have a lot in common or so I've noticed. We all come from different backgrounds: family abuse, drugs, money status, career and education to name a few but we can relate to each other through the common struggle and symptoms of depression. We seem to struggle a lot with the same kind of things. Not exactly, of course. Everyone is so unique, so complex that you could poll a whole classroom of people and possibly not get the same response twice. But there are some common responses otherwise you couldn't play the game Family Fued! lol.

    So what does this have to do with not being the sum of your sorrow and despair, there is more, much more to you?! This: is it possible that you are not able to see your true potential and self worth clearly due to depression? yes. And, is it possible those around you who do not understand depression will think your slow, wonder why are stumbling through situations that they believe you should just breeze through, and wonder whats with the weird behavior? Also, they may not have much patience with you and say harsh words or sling verbal assualts.. see the similarities?

    This is where a therapist comes in handy. They can act as a mirror and help you see yourself and your true potential and self worth. they can help you see others behaviors around you in a more non-judemental way. How? 1). they are not depressed so they do not have the filter of sadness / despair / hopelessness on. no blindfold 2). They understand depression and it's symptoms so they can look past that. Some qualities are just evident: intelligence, wit, dexterity and coordination, singing, writing, painting, dancing to name a few. When you are depressed and the filter (blindfold) is on you don't see your potential or gifts but others can. I can tell your intelligent from your responses and witty retorts. You compose your reponses in an orginized and thought out manner. You go Kyacking! That is not something everyone can do. I assume you have some good reflexes, dextereity, balance or how would you manage the kyack?
    Now, YOU may not believe your intelligent, witty, dextrous, have good reflexes and balance... but then you see yourself through thoughts and feelings of sadness / despair / hopelessness. You are much more than the sum of your sorrow and despair. There are many potentials and excellent qualities about you that you are having trouble seeing now because of the depression.
  3. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    Not convinced? lets try that exercise again with the word association. Say each word out loud and on a seperate peice of paper write down the word, thought or image that comes to mind first.

    a perfect 10
    apple pie

    You probably had different responses this time, yes? For example, in the first series after I said, "apple pie" and wrote (image of a whole hot apple pie with sugar sprinkled crust). And then said "overheated" I wrote the word "burned" and imagined a burnt apple pie coming out of the oven. I still had apple pie on my brain when I came to the word overheated and my association was influenced by that. Also in the first series for lumber I thought of a pile of wooden planks in a lumberyard. However, in the second set when I said, "lumber" I thought of a casket because I had just finished saying, "death" and still had death on my mind when I came to the word lumber. Again, my thoughts effected my association. let me know how this exercise went for you. only share what you feel comfortable sharing, of course. But do you notice something similar to this in your answers?
  4. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    To try means to sometimes go against our natural inclination:"You have to go against your natural inclination to do these things because of the depression but it will make a difference, you will feel a bit better."
    Really? When?

    Why is it individuals who go through the same exact or similar situation handle it differently? The soldiers who were in the same squad and survived the same gunfire. People who suffer a debilitating injury such as losing a limb or are bound to a wheelchair for life. The people stuck on the plane hijaked by terrorists. The brother or sister who lived through the same family abuse. Different responses to the same traumatic event and different outlooks on life ... Why? "Everyone is different", "each to their own", isn't that what we say? And what we mean by that is the soldiers all come from different homes and backgrounds so they will associate and interpret the trauma differently. Same with the people who are suddenly faced with a crippling injury or find themselves in a life threatening terrorist hijacking. And what about the same family abuse? Lets say TWINS lived through the same family abuse. How can one be depressed later in life and the other not? Well, even twins don't have the exact same experiences. Why do people have different experiences to the same situation? I think it's because of perspective.

    Example: You go to a party and you don't know anyone there. You see a nice looking girl standing by herself in the corner. You decide to go and talk to her. You notice when you are talking to her she is looking around a lot and is only half paying attention to what your saying.

    How do you interpet that situation?

    Maybe your thinking, I am such a bore this girl hates me I just know it. She keeps looking around she can't wait to get away from me, probably looking for someone she knows so she can get away. And who could blame her I'm not in her league. I don't know why I came to this stupid party anyway. I'm always ditched and no one wants to talk to me. That's it, i'm leaving.

    How would you feel after this encounter? depressed, hopeless, despairing? Wouldn't this PROVE that your life is hopeless and no one likes you? Would you remind yourself of all the other rejections you've endured? I might even feel suicidal after an situation like this! I could believe nothing will change and I can't go through life alone.

    OR ...

    Maybe your thinking, What's up with this girl? She keeps looking around and she's not listening to me. How rude, what a snob. I suppose it is possible something has happened to upset her. Maybe she's afraid of someone and she's keeping an eye out for them. That would explain the looking around and her partial attention. Maybe i should ask her if somethigs wrong or bothering her to find out?

    How would you feel after this encounter? Annoyed, irritation, possibly concern and curiosity? You're probably not going to leave the party over this. It's likely you will try talking to other people. You may even end up listening to her situation, and offering assistance. This could result in a friendship or even romance.

    SAME situation. Only this time it was YOU interpreting it differently both times. And based on your perspective you had different outcomes, different feelings and different results.

    Which one is the most accurate? Both are equally possible but which you believe can make a big difference.

    I believe that when were depressed we have to question our feelings, try to stay as unbiased as possible and go against many of our natural inclinations such as to isolate, berate ourselves, form assumptions of despair right away, etc. And yes, if we work against these depressive symptoms we often will get different results.

    There are two directions you can take and they lead to different results. (well, more than just two but just to name a couple)
    1). you can believe it's not going to work. This association effects your perspective and you end up sabatoging yourself. Then, when it doesn't work out, it reinforces your beleif it can't work out, it never works out. (this is called a self fulfilling prophesy) You believe you can't, so you don't, and therefore believe it proves you were right all along. And each rejection acts as a negative reinforcement making it more difficult to try again. [
    B]2). Theres a saying, you can't strike gold if you don't dig a lot of holes.[/B] Or, you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. Again, a therapist is handy for this becasue they can help you see how the situation was not as hopeless as you may have thought it was because of the depression and that filter (blindfold) effect I mentioned earlier. It is natural, when depressed, to react like the first example. But you can choose to go against that natural response that believes it's hopeless and won't work out.

    I did not say it was easy. On the contrary, it's very diffficult and you truely may need the help of a therapist or someone who is honest and unbiased and can be supportive of you to get through this. I understand about social phobia! I can barely get to the grocery store! I don't like being touched to the point I avoid elevators with more than 3 people in them! I can go months and months without being touched if my therapist would quit shaking my hand everytime I go to see him. LOL! I even use a debit card so there is no change to be placed in my hand, no contact. why? I have an attachment disorder. I have a lot of trouble "connecting" to others. I know I have to fight this because it does get worse if you don't. My plan was to ask a charitable organization if I could just e-mail them for a while, then contact at home, then help getting to Church where I would probably have to shake the greeters hand, sit in a crowded pew in a room packed with people, children and people may bump into me. ::sigh:: But you have to start at a level you feel comfortable with, safe. And just keep making gradual steps toward your goal.
  5. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    "The healthy mind challenges its own assumptions" .

    Wherr the hell is the mind to begin with? Healthy? Is there a not healthy mind? Where is the line that separates the twh0o? When can we tell that we have a healthy mind?

    I am just expreesing the keytboard's tool ,please ignore me. This keyboard gave me a lot of grief.
  6. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    This is really interesting...i really like it
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It gives a person something to ponder over in their mind.
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Wow did you write all this? This is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing this! I enjoyed it a lot.

    I realize that you/or whoever wrote this if not you :laugh: were just trying to make this all seem doable by saying it's not easy, but we shouldn't rule out the fact that it very well may be easy. It may just take a change in perspective. It could happen over night. It could happen over the course of a few years. Like it said earlier in the post, everyone is unique.
    I think it's only as difficult as we make it. And therapists can most certainly be helpful. I've seen a few and the most recent one I went to helped me a ton. But they're not always needed. It's not like they gave me any new perspective, they only helped me to uncover and voice what I already knew all along but was just scared to admit. Scared to discover myself.

    Anyway, again, loved this post :hug:
  9. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Hi Luliby :smile:

    I'm not trying anymore so such as "just existing" as my pa used to say.

    I'm sustaining that which was thrust upon me 45 years ago, ever afraid to plunge into the Abyss of the Unknown.

    I just keep this engine running for now--so long as there isn't intractible pain or a terminal illness or advanced cancer. I have nobody to live for to justify putting up a fight for that.

    * * * *

    Paul Simon once wrote in a song, "a good day ain't got no rain. A bad day's when I lie in the bed and think of the things I might have been."

    That's me. Ayup. A GOOD day is a day without a toothache. Also, a GOOD day is a day I'm not mired in depression.

    (Today qualifyies as a "good day" therefore, b/c I awoke and my toothache was gone. Yay!)

    But if I want happiness, I usually have to pursue it chemically; i.e., with some new antidepressant, and even then it's a fluke, a temporary manic state like I enjoyed this summer. Cost me, but it was a little something while it lasted. Ya know what I mean?

    * * * *

    Happiness for me today amounts to the absence of pain. It's a sucky life my man (or my friend), but I'm not in a vacuum--the WORLD is harsh.

    Luli, your first post reminded me so much of love! I said, "Why.... that's ME with women!" LOL! I quit actively *trying* to find love altogether about five years ago. The break-ups were unbearably painful.

    This a depressing, matter-of-fact post, but then it's not a very happy life.

    So there you have it. I don't try for anything, but merely sustain this life into which I have been thrust. Some day probably sooner than I think, it too will expire (from natural causation) and then we will all just be done with the whole mess.

    But for now, I have my ....VIDEO GAMES!! :biggrin: (If you'll excuse me, I'm off to get in some Forza right now. :biggrin: ) And btw., the movies Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk rock the freakin' casbah as well.

    Abraham Lincoln is said to have said, "most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Well I think he was full of shit - but there is a lot to be said for an attitude of gratitude--more precisely--being thankful for and aware of that which we have and enjoy.

  10. ergo51

    ergo51 Well-Known Member

  11. Some great points. I loved how you explained deppression in regards to sliping a pill in your drink. True clinical deppression fits that mold very well. That may bring relief to some.

  12. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Most of your interesting commentary, quotes and analysis reminds me of one simple allegory written by Thomas Moore in his famous (or infamous depending on which critique you read) book, "You Can't Go Home Again"

    It is called the DRUNKEN BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK. As the story goes: the beggar sets out on a very old horse for a very long journey and he his drunk. Inevitably he falls. He slowly and painfully drags himself up, gets back on the horse and travels about another mile before falling again. This continues, over and over again. However, though he is drunk & both he and his horse are tired and old, he is always moving forward...and eventually he will get to his destination."
  13. Terry_Bogard

    Terry_Bogard Guest

    I enjoyed reading your posts, thanks for bringing some light, i am very used to the darkness of both myself and the world. Sadly in my case I was brought up in a home full of proud people, being myself the extreme of that, so being proud is basically all I know in life, that and being pesimistic as I am sure whoever read this has obviously found out. My first problem is that I cant ask anyone for help, I feel that I have done that too much already even if I havent seen most of my family in more than 3 years, also I have stopped going out with girls for almost 2 years now, so I am basically, as i like to call it, at the end of my road.
    Sometimes i do want to look things in a lighter way, sadly in my "perspective", as you called it, there are only two colors,black and heavy black, being heavy black just trying to get out of this place in the most painless way, only black will be getting a gun a silencer and kill anyone who gets in my way, and get money that way until someone finally kills me, sadly I even have fantasies regarding only black. I think my depression might become dangerous for some people, but then I think, if they didnt care about me, so why should I care about them?
    The truth is ,as you had correctly put it, i have stopped trying so there are very few things that keep me alive, even fewer persons, they have given up on me, and i have given up on them, I have become a hater of myself and everybody else, I think the worse thing that could have happened to this is earth is men and women, I hate money, i hate tv shows, i hate succesfull people cuz they are resting in everybody's shoulders and for what?
    One of my favorite fantasies is that people are actually on the verge of extinction and I get to witness it before i die, i know im crazy but who cares other than me?
    I have given myself a one month grace before i leave, and this has helped me to find some answers to questions that were on my mind for long. I have finally deciphered who I really am, also that people never have time to help but always have time to complain, also that i will never understand whats on a woman's head other than money and perpetual search for a bigger better deal no matter who, how old or how boring; the most painful was that i never really had friends,and finally that it doesn't matter who does what, there will be no history of mankind since it will all go away as fast as it came.

    Thanks for reading, and thanks for posting...although it doesnt matter, and surely it wont
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I found this post to be very helpful thanks as i am at this point. Why keep trying when you are constantly being pushed down The pain never gets less only more when you fail again and again. I hope to get the strength back so i can face the world again like i used to. thanks again
  15. splishslash

    splishslash New Member

    i've read this thread and this is my first post.

    i have tryed but every time i build something decent in my life, events i can't control destroy what i have built.

    i guess i'm just unlucky but i can't see any way to change this.
  16. RickZ

    RickZ New Member

    Hi Terry,

    Interesting post. Thanks for putting it up. I'm new here.

    Question: Who did you finally decipher that you are? And how did you do that?

  17. cofmadness

    cofmadness Well-Known Member

    Luliby these are the best posts I've read on here... thank you. half of the posts on here are depressing or just silly this really helps and makes you think. :goodjob:
  18. Helping hand

    Helping hand Guest

    I just want to ease all of your pain, hope you will be all better, I think this is the best and only thread I can write it here...so lets begin.

    Life and death are both part of the life, Yin and Yang. Life is such beautiful thing, what would have been a life without the curvy road, without the problems life would be just a walk trough a beautiful garden and what meaning would that have ? Wouldnt everyone be in heaven instead? God gave us the most precious gift...Freedom of choice, god exists , angels exist everything and that, I have been an unbeliever when I was born, was borned into atheistic family, but after what happened to all of us, we started to believe and for me I believe and I know, I have seen them, angels, god , heaven...yes I have been clinicaly dead or what you say it and I have to say you one thing, heaven is the most beautiful of places that could exist, its your dream land...why everything bad happens to us ? Its not god, no its us, everything we do, strikes back, karma. So everything that bad happens in your life is your fault, you may have killed someone or worse in your past life...some of you are down, but believe me you will get only so much burden you can take and those who kills themselfs, have failed even at it, or theyre goal in this life has been completed and are taken home into heaven...so what life does have meaning? Meaning of life is to live...to learn...to experience we have so many lifes, so many paths, so many worlds, so many choices...when you take it life is a game...a beautiful game...why people are talented at this and that,you know why its because they took it from past lifes,everything you learn, you get, every problem and that is coded in your soul, DNA or whatever you may call it...so "talented" people are just relearning what they once learned,why we dont remember past lifes? Because we dont need to, we must focus on our life wich is now,what we have done was done, we did our best afterall we are humans, we are perfect but our actions are imperfect, but you know whats beautiful, that our actions are imperfect makes them perfect, Its so perfect that we make imperfect decisions wich trigger tons of other links and we learn until we do it perfectly, but reaching the perfect is another goal of the life, to go higher and higher, to get closer to god and beyond...there isnt only one god, there are many and many and many. Every world, dimensions, galaxy has its own god who creates life. When you understand that there is life after life...than life is just beautiful and death is a blessing, who would like to live forever, one life all over again...no one dies until they must, you should be happy that now they are happier and are living a new great life,we meet and loose so many people in life but for a reason, maybe a karma or maybe just for an tip in life or to change our life completely...death shouldnt be cursed, it should been celebrated...it may sound weird, I know many of you lost so many relatives and many may curse me, I respect that but you must understand that death is the freeing of a soul,why many people hate it, because many people loose everything that they stole and then they understand that everything material in this world is good for nothing, that only what really matters is love. Be happy that your loved ones passed away, I know it will be hard, but they are now happy, only you dont want to leave it behind. You are selfish, if you really love someone set him free.

    I would like for everyone to wake up, open theyre eyes, take a deep breath and release themselfs from all fears and open their minds, to feel free, to feel the love that is all around them and to start love everyone and everything around them, I want to see everyone happy,but all we see in TV or news is just violence, hatred and sin. Turn them off, be free!!!

    I hope I will help someone,some people will say its harsh, again I understand you all, it is hard ,but you must understand that death and life are beautiful...many wont acknowledge what I have written...OK I dont want you to blindly follow mine every word, only priests and church want that so they can enslave you...I want to show you the door, the light, but its your choice If you will take it or leave it. Make your own view of life,but understand at least that life and death are blessings.

    Peace out.
  19. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I really wish things were as simple as you put them.