Why try?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KK99, Dec 13, 2012.

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  1. KK99

    KK99 Active Member

    It seems like everything I fucking do around here isn't enough.

    A few examples:

    One, I cleaned the majority of the kitchen + other stuff, and left some things for my sister to do. Then, my dad comes home and says that I didn't do anything. When I explained to him what I did, he just threatened to throw all of our stuff away - clothes, dishes, etc. And when I clean, I clean - I don't like doing a half-ass job, and I only didn't finish the rest because I'm not the only person living in this house. And he sat there & bitched at me, the only person that cleaned that day, for NOT cleaning...even thought it was obvious, visually, that someone cleaned.

    Now for the 2nd thing...apparently, to everyone else, I'm not getting better. Hell, I thought I was getting better, but everyone just keeps saying that I'm not. So, coming from the people who supposedly love me, what am I supposed to believe?

    My grandma got angry with me last week because she thinks that the medication and therapy isn't helping, and I think that she doesn't want to bring me to my appointments before - she hasn't said a word to me since, and my dad seems to be thinking the same damn thing my grandma is thinking.

    I have OCD - and long story short, my sister scoffed at me because I put my hand in my sleeve to take my lighter back - something I don't do too often - that ended up in an argument, of course.


    This is beginning to look very similar to the situation from before the last time I went to the psych ward. I DO NOT want to go back there - that'll be the last damn thing I'll do. I just got out in early November, and I'm already having conflicting urges to self harm again...

    And I've been off of my meds for the past two weeks, because I haven't been able to get a prescription written yet. And to think I was doing just fine - I've been living in my room & avoiding everyone.

    It's just really not helping with these assholes not giving me any support.
  2. Gonzo700

    Gonzo700 Member

    Hey there stranger you don't know me to well but let's talk a little. I'm very sorry that things aren't working the way they need to be with your family but all in all do you think it's worth it? You sound like a genuine person with a great spirit and just try's to do there very best.

    From experience with abusive family I can tell you hell it's not fun at all i think it's safe to say we've all been there. Here's a tip for those people who say you aren't recovering, let that crap go in one ear and out the other. You seem like an amazing person that only needs a person to reach out give you a hug and whisper that your perfect and everything would start getting better. Just think to yourself that you're actually getting better and once you realize you are getting better then you won't feel the way you do. You just gotta learn not to care about the things your parents piss you off about just listen and shrug it off go to your room watch some Naruto or play some games! I have faith and remember we all have a story.
  3. KK99

    KK99 Active Member

    Aww... ;w; That kind of made me tear up a bit! :hug:

    Yeah...I have a tendency to take things to heart, even if they're just...well, not even important. ^_^''

    And yes! XD I'll go watch some more Shippuden now that you mention it. :3 I have a lot of catching up to do! >w<

    Thank you! *hugs* :D
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