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Why? *Warning TRIGGERING*

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by alwaysscared, Sep 21, 2008.

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  1. alwaysscared

    alwaysscared Active Member

    I'm sorry if this upsets/triggers anyone, but need to get it out.

    Just realised last night that every close female friend that I have had has either been raped, had a guy perv on them or had their husband cheat on them.

    I feel as tho the only reason I haven't had any of these things happen to me is that I refuse to get married and until this year had SUCH over-protective parents who refused to let me have any male friends. And I'm not talking about boyfriends....I wasn't even allowed to have a private convo with a male cousin!!

    How can men do this and get away with it?? Any of the girls who have told others are told that it's their fault that the abuse happened or that they are just troublemakers. That is SUCH a load of rubbish!!

    I want to tell their stories (not mentioning personal details obv). *WARNING MAY BE TRIGGERING*

    T was about 9 when she used to regularly go to a certain place with her parents. She was supposed to be SAFE there. But a close friend of her parents started being friendly...then after a while started touching her. She was only a CHILD for god's sake. She never told anyone.

    S was 15. She regularly got beaten up by her dad, gran and aunts. One day a friends dad asked her to come to his car because he had something for her. He made her sit in the back of the car, pinned her down and then sarted touching her. She told people and was told "well, it was your fault for getting into the car with him. You obviously encouraged him."

    A was a mother to 2 kids. Her husband was abusive to her, but she stayed for the sake of the kids. She got a call from one of his work colleagues saying he had raped her after work. He was confronted, finally admitted it and promised it would never happen again. Now, several years later the police are after him because there have been allegations that he has abused lil kids. He's on the run. No other woman in her family supports A because they say that she must have caused him to behave like this by being a bad wife.

    AT was 20 when she left home to study at uni against her parents wishes. While at uni, she started learning music from a male teacher. He slowly gained her trust and then raped her. He then had the cheek to visit her family after a year and spoke to her, pretending nothing had happened! She ended up taking at least 4 overdoses, thinking that the drugs would make the pain go away.

    K was 10 when her favourite cousin got married. Her and her husband regularly came to visit K. She loved her cousin, but her cousins husband always touched her inappropriately. This went on for years. She actually got raped by someone else when she was 16 (but that's a different story). When she finally got married herself and had a kid, she went to see her cousin. Her cousin's husband touched her again and she flipped and walked out the house. K finally told her own husband what had happened. He saw it for himself and slapped the guy. He was subsequently banned from seeing any of K's family. She was told she was causing trouble in the family. She is not welcome in her family at all. There were people who knew about what had happened, and had also been subject to the same stuff but refused to speak up for fear of causing trouble.

    TA was a close school friend. Her family were really really close. She loved her dad to bits. What she didn't know was that her dad used to abuse her mum. Her mum stayed in the marriage for the sake of the kids. When she was 16, they found out that her dad was leading a double life - he had another woman. When confronted, he blamed TA's mum for not being good enough. The community that the family were part of took the dad's side of the story. They said it was acceptable for him to do that.

    Why does this happen? Why do some people think that it's ok to hit on girls. Some of these girls were just KIDS when it happened. What makes guys think that they can just take away their innocence like this?
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2008
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry to hear that all your female friends have been abused by men in some form or another and that for some reason, they get blamed for it, while the guy that does it, is the one who should be blamed. Guys like this really give the rest of us a bad reputation. I can say that not every guy is like this, but after a woman has been abused by a guy, it's probably really hard to believe it. A lot of guys just can't control themselves and should be in jail. That's where all the rapists and pedophiles should end up, to keep the women and children safe. :hug:
  3. alwaysscared

    alwaysscared Active Member

    Thank you for that Dave. Really helped to calm me down. Much appreciated. :hug:
  4. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    It happens because humanity is a weak and lowly species. The way I see it, all people who even remotely defend rapists need to die, and the rapists would need to be tortured to death. Those who are unfaithful need to die, as well.

    If it wasn't for my knowledge of that there are some decent and some great people in this world, here and there, I would wish for an asteroid to destroy the whole planet. I'm a guy, by the way, just so you know... I'd love to be the one to cleanse society from all these people... now that's a job I'd love. Watching the fear in their eyes while I'd torture them, followed by killing them.... such great fun it'd be. The more fear I'd see in their eyes, the more fun it'd be.
  5. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    Omg! How can people blame it on them? That's so untrue. It isn't their fault, they can't help it if someone is twice bigger and stronger. How... (growls...) how do we help them? (Ok i'm out this is exasperating, I want to help them so much!) Please, please help them!
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    this is why i havent told anyone about the abuse i have suffered. you are always ying unless its practically videod! its ridiculas and i belive that they al should be tortured very slowly and mulilated also. its sick and disgusting and they should all fucking rot in hell!
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I find this post somewhat disturbing Hae-Gi. I mean I agree that rapists and pedophiles need to be punished, but torturing and killing them, seems a bit extreme, don't you think? They are still human beings, even though they are the lowest form of human beings. I say just lock them up for 20 years and hope for the best.
  8. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    as a guy i had 2 female mates with similar storys:

    D was 17 when she was raped by her close freand while his freands was in the next room and done nothing about it even though she screamed.

    M was 13 when one night she went to sleep near her dad becouse she was scared or something like that, her mom was away and her dad touched her..
  9. Jacko99

    Jacko99 New Member

    I say all these rapists need to be locked up in a room full of big horny eastern european guys and let them experience what they've done to others, and then once they're finished in there let them rot in a cell.
  10. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    The real punishment would be making the rapists feel the world collapse around them--make the distrust and fear of intimacy possess them. Death/ rotting in a jail cell is too good for them.
  11. blueburn

    blueburn Member

    I think people do it becasue of their mind everyone has different minds some like this colour some don't. For a rapist or peadophile it is in effect the same thing its all down to chemical's in the brain, Some people wont touch a spider with a barge pole and some will let it crawl on there face!.

    But yes rapist's and peadophiles need locking away but no matter how much they try to stop it they can't.

    It feels like im defending them right now but im not its just my opinion, Killing them and toturing is too far, chemical castration is starting to be used.
  12. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling. All of my friends have been abused in some way. Most of them raped/molested. And that includes my male friends. even my girlfriend and my boyfriend. I dont know why it happens to so many people and why so many people get away with it. But...i agree with you. It is FUCKED. Much love.
  13. astella

    astella Well-Known Member

    1. It's not only guys. Your sexism is far more harmful than you think.
    2. Humans have horrible instincts and are raised in horrible environments. It's not their fault. It's horrible. It's so fucking horrible and unnecessary for people to lack control of themselves. Why the FUCK do people have to be this way?
  14. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I could go off with about 5,000 words on how much I agree with #1. Sexism goes both ways and women are always the victims.

    In terms of the thread content I think it's fairly horrible that this happened to them as well.
  15. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    you know what my mother used to say when i used to ask her questions about her lack of protection when we were younger when my sister started going crazy a few years ago. guess what she said. my sister, apparently, provoked my father's abuse. if she provoked him, did i provoke him too?

    what kind of mother says this. what kind of mother doesn't ask why i didn't talk to my father at age 11 and stopped talking to him ever since? what the fuck had i been living in all those years?

    i was going crazy that year listening to her BS and trying to sort her and my sister out and my mother a few years ago, sitting there like a dazed zombie at what she didn't do and what i could see happening in my sister as i could relate to her so much....

    i get along with her (my mother) at a distance. at a safe distance. i still feel she's poisonous a lot. and i still think she doesn't fully understand that leaving 2 children alone with a violent man isn't the best way to bring up children, and not only that, blame them, when they get older get involved in shitty relationships that renact their past, blame them, for the abuse she had responsibility over as a parent when we were younger. i had absolutely no one sticking up for me as a kid, so that's why as i grew older, i used my skill to defend myself, to defend my sister. my mother was NO WHERE.
  16. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Yeah the women in my family are messed up like this. No one supported my mother, my mother's older sister actually sides with MY FATHER over her. I just feel violent/angry when I think of my family it's so fucked up. No one helping, everyone sitting around the dinner table playing happy families when I'm sitting there thinking this is a fucking joke it's like watching some politicians on television...

    and then they point to me as the 'mentally ill' one ..

    When I hear women acting like that, not supporting someone getting abused and blaming her .......why. Just why. Do they think it's okay to be raped? That someone deserves to be raped? I wonder how they view their bodies, they must really hate themselves if they can see someone get raped and say, it was because you were a bad wife and you should have done ABC. You ask really good questions that have many complex answers and highlight things that I've noticed too.
  17. Ðisturbed03

    Ðisturbed03 Member

    This is really sad and touching, if i ever knew any guy who did this to my wife, family member or any1 else for the sake of it, i'd kill them.... its a harsh thing to say but perv's like this dont deserve to live....
  18. Panos

    Panos Well-Known Member

    my soul hurts when i hear about such things :S
    i believe no1 will ever truly understand the terror that those ppl got in their souls after those events :S
    Wish i get the chance to let all my anger about everything on 1 of these ppl that do such things to others.
    They absofckinglutely got no right to steal a person's personality and life :S

  19. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Chemical castration is the only answer. These stories really upset me. As a dad I cant understand how these ppl think and how they betray trust. Cut there brain off at the source and castrate them. Ive brought my daughter up on my own, as wife ran off with another man. When my daughter was born it was the greatest moment of my life and it made me a better person. I love my daughter and always will, Ive enjoyed her growing as a person and we are great friends. She'll be off to uni eventually and I'll have to get use to not having her here but it in the meantime I'll enjoy every minute of her company. These abusers have no Idea what they really want and they miss out on what lifes about. Love will always be stronger than hate. They think they are in control and they are not, I truly believe they delude themselves and never feel guilt, so castrate them and they lose the feeling that have ruled there pityful existence.
  20. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    chemical castration is not the answer. an abuser will still have the thoughts in their head to abuse and can use impliments which cause in many cases more damage. this has happened. removal of sex urges through antiandrogens or castration is not foolproof either.. ask any transsexual who is pre operative and on anti androgens.. they can still have sex.
    the danger with chem castration is the other harm that can be done.
    but i have no answers to the problem either.
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