Why we take things to the very furthest brink.... The psychology.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ToHelp, Dec 5, 2008.

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  1. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    I'll go a week inside with little to no eating, depressed or smitten by my toothache.

    Yet, this does not solve the problems at hand.

    I read of ppl starving themselves on here and set out to judge--but am i so different?

    The question fit for a psych thesis: Why do we do this to ourselves?

    I'll posit so as to live more fully as one reason.

    (Although, as I think of it, SI is quite more complex. i don't want to oversimplify.)

    When we aren't happy in life, there are many neuroses awaiting us to fall into. People cut, burn, do self-harm. In the past I have separated myself from these behaviors, thinking them incomprehensible. But are they so?

    Now I see, and we are NEVER so much unalike....

    * * * *

    Well look, don't let this academician's style scare you away. Would love to hear other's contributions. I can't do this alone; cannot know.

  2. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I guess, we do these harmful things to ourselves as way to deal with emotional pain. In a way, imo, physical pain replaces the emotional pain. And once you see the pain you can deal with it, i.e. control it. This gives the sense you are in control of your emotional pain as it equates with the physical pain, yet in reality this isn't true.
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I sometimes feel more comfortable instigating a role that befits my current mood or personality, which in my life is almost always depressive or manic. As such I choose to enact behaviorisms of certain roles like the manic-depressive artist or writer. And thus I manage to survive my depression while suffering through it. In many ways depression is like drowning. Always struggling for a breath of air, you search for any tool that helps you reach for the surface. If a role helps me manage I'll take it. So, sometimes I behave erratically to maintain the image of the role.

    Other behaviors are used to vent off feelings of utter despair. Suicidal impulses are circumvented whenever I hack into my skin or drink too much. Both are unhealthy habits, but compared to suicide they suffice.

    Now, just over the past couple of weeks in which I've been recovering from a constant four-month haze of depression and suicide compulsions I've been exploring the emotions and behaviors that are associated with my terribly gloomy periods of depression.

    Where as role taking helps while depressed, and cutting or drinking helps with suicide, when recovering I find myself terrified of the power of depression. It's mystical when you're suffering, but near omnipotent when out of its grasp. The truth is I'm always one minute away from a crippling anxiety attack or drive to a blade. And I don't know why!

    In my experience depression is a heavy weight on your psyche. I spend 99% of my energy dealing with it while suffering. Some of my suicide compulsion (drive to extremes) comes from the desire to end the depression. Part of me wants to experience nothing over the despair and another part of me hopes and prays that if I show my body/mind/spirit that I'm willing to go all the way through depression

    (insecurities--bullied--introverted--depressed--severe depression over long periods--suicidal compulsions---suicide gesture--suicide)

    then just maybe depression will lift it's hold off me. It's like a movie I watch or a story I write in that there is a story arch. Maybe if I follow it through depression won't catch me unaware again.

    That's my view when not under the cloud of depression. When depressed I'm driven to hurt myself because I feel like I deserve it and that the world only makes sense if I submit to the self-destructive behaviors.
  4. I read up a little on this one last night bc i couldnt figure out why i had so much of an impulse to hurt myself. I wanted to know why or why i always felt better after.
    I believe the best reason that i read was because we have loss of control over things, and when we are depressed or overwhelmed we cant function or were afraid to function normally. Therefore when we hurt ourselves we can control when to stop and we have control over something that hurts us.(unlike depression that hurts deep and nothing will stop) Feelings of jealous guilt or embarassment is really hard to stop, and when we feel that all the time we feel helpless. Once you cause yourself physical injury your brain goes further to praise the new enpowerment(or gain of control of one thing) by giving u a shot of chemicals that make you feel kinda like something that ur mom would say when u were a toddler and u fell (aww....look ur not hurt that bad see? all better!) i hope that my one sentence book made sense (-.-)

    this def. makes sense! but, unfortunetly I also feel like i need to be punished
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2008
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    That's a good point. Self-harm does help you put all of the depression into a little ball that can be dealt with by cutting it out (for me).
  6. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Both of you are amazing for your insight. (James fantastic prose, style, and form.)

    Can't really add to it, partly because I don't self-injure overtly (i.e. cutting).

    But mostly because I just don't know anything more and am brought up short. Clearly the above contributors have their own correct understandings of self.

    Depression? I too am humbled by it. Every time it recurs, it's more difficult to treat medically and make go away.

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