WHY? WHY? WHY? couldn't my last attempt just WORK?!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by silly_me, Apr 12, 2009.

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  1. silly_me

    silly_me New Member

    March 3rd I attempted suicide and came pretty darn close to succeeding. Closer than ever before. After spending the whole month of March in ICU and then the psych hospital I was discharged on the 30th. I try to be ok, I try to find and hold on to hope, but I'm just sinking right back to where I was when I tried to end my life last month. I'm angry that it didn't work and determined to try it again until I succeed. Life is just to much and too hard, I can't do this.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Can you talk to us about why you feel so bad, about what's wrong?
  3. silly_me

    silly_me New Member

    My life just feels hopeless. I don't feel like I'll ever really get it all together. I don't have any close family and the friends that I had I've pushed away with my suicide attempt. People don't know what to do for me or how they can help and so they pull away to protect themselves. I don't really share a lot of me with most people because I fear rejection. That's probably why I have so few close friends. I just want to be genuinely happy for once in my life and not be faking it to everyone around me so that they think that I am happy or that I am ok. I've worked so hard to be "ok" and the truth is that I'm not and I don't think I ever will be.
  4. silly_me

    silly_me New Member

    And on top of always fighting depression, I am now without a job or a home....
  5. csu1336

    csu1336 Member

    Is there anyone anywhere nearby you can stay with? If all else fails theres always shelters
  6. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Know just what you mean when you say you can't normally talk to people about this. Scares the shit out of most people. Glad you have found the forum. For me it's been a great help and the support I have had from people here is what has kept me alive.Hope you can find as much from the site. Being able to talk to people who understand and who will not judge does make things easier. Best wishes.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i feel the same way.
  8. KoNfUsEd

    KoNfUsEd Active Member

    i feel the same! im hopefull at least it will be my last day here.. i have plans just wish me luck?
  9. I feel the same way! Especially since today i made the dumb ass mistake of telling two work colleagues that sometimes i feel so low i could kill myself. The looks on their faces was a mixture of fear and disgust. Now i'm worrying in case they blab to everyone what i said and everyone will really know me for the freak i really am. Please though guys, just hold on. I'm trying to and i know you can too.
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