Why why why why why why WHY?????!!!????

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by SAVE_ME, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Why, when I feel as though I'm finally moving on and getting over my ex, do I suddenly regress backwards and start thinking about her again?!? WHY??? It's getting ridiculous! I just want to move on, but I'm not gonna be able to at this rate! Why can't I just f*cking forget about her already?!?? God, I feel physically sick right down in the pit of my stomach just thinking about her! FFS!! She made it more than perfectly clear she just doesn't feel "that" way about me, so why can't I just stop being a big baby, accept it and move on?!?
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    A freand told me once, the best way to forget about a loved one
    is to find someone ales to love
  3. Also, try to think calmly about all the bad things she's done and it might help you realize she isn't and never was the person you thought she was. As long as you idealize her, it will be next to impossible to move on.
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    takes time...
  5. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    Sorry to see you suffering brother i feel something in my stomach as well, since no girl would ever have anything to do with me. Its like an elevator dropping down through my stomach at 100mph. Wish i had wise advice but having never had a relationship what can i offer?
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: saveme

    How long has it been since ye broke up?

    Maybe if you found someone else, you wouldn't think of her as much :hug:
  7. icerain

    icerain Well-Known Member

    i am not sure why, but i do know that it is very hard what you are going thru. i have been there recently. it sucks big time. and there is nothing that anybody says that can say to help it unfortunately. the advice given here is good, but it does not take away the pain.
    take it slow, remember that it is ok to be like that and everybody will regress at some point. try not to beat yourself up too much, you are human with feelings and what you are going thru is grief, and it can be hell at times. but the sun will shine again if you let it.
    take gentle care of yourself, and allow yourself to grieve.
  8. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi mate. I know just how you feel and it's hard but given time you will move on. I split up with my last g/f about 8 months ago and it knocked me for six because I've never felt so much love for any other woman I have ever met. We had been really close friends for over 10 years when we got together and then suddenly we were no longer even speaking. I thought I was finally getting over her but then I bumped into her at a party over christmas. I was feeling pretty shit at the time anyway because of other things but seeing her just floored me and all the pain of the breakup came rushing back. I've now come to see how destructive she was in our relationship. Mainly caused by the abuse she suffered at the hands of her brother when she was younger. I see now that no matter how much I felt for her she just had too many unresolved issues for a relationship to work. It's a shame but we can't live in the past. Hope you manage to move on soon. I am sure you will even though that may be hard to believe at the moment. Best wishes.
  9. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    It was 5 months ago this past Saturday.

    As for finding someone else, it's a nice thought, but at the moment it's too far out of reach for me, mainly because I don't feel like anyone could ever love me. I'm ugly as hell, so that's a crippling factor, especially in our shallow, vain society where all anyone ever seems to care about is looks.

    It's seriously affecting my University work too. I haven't been able to focus on anything in a LONG time, even the things I used to enjoy. I missed 2 exams last week just so I could sit in my room and cry all day.....it's like I've just given up altogether.

    Maybe I will find someone else someday....although at the moment that just seems like wishful thinking.
  10. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    This might not help you at all but you're not alone. That probably really didn't help. I've only ever had one boyfriend and he wasn't a very good person. That doesn't stop me from wanting to call him at random hours of the day just cause I saw him last saturday. I don't know why I posted this. Guess it was just to say you're not alone.

  11. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Thanks Lady Byron, helps a little to know I'm not alone and that people care, so thanks :hug:
  12. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    anytime. pm me if you ever just need someone to listen. i've been told i'm a good listener. i'm not too great with advice though :sad:.
  13. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    i went through a really hard break up a few months ago and i still miss her so much. i even had another relationship and just couldnt get over her. its hard and i still think about her a lot but i think it is getting easier slowly...
  14. bEvans

    bEvans Active Member

    If this isn't a rhetorical question, you can use SSRIs to help you get over her.
    People in love have neurotransmitter concentrations similar to people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, according to http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro01/web2/Hoegler.html

    Or you can keep trying whatever you've been trying to move on (that's worked out great).