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why won't i heal?

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Grotesque

Well-Known Member
#1
im so depressed.
i dont know what to do.
i know these words cannot possibly capture the severity of
my depression, but i hope someone knows.
every waking moment is painful and i dont know how i can keep going. im not strong enough. i dont know why i would continue living painfully, when the answer is so close.
i feel so empty and miserable!!!
 
J

jjustme

#2
hey, that sounds bad hun:sad: I hope you feel better at the moment...
You said you don't know what to do... hm, maybe you can talk with someone? Like your friends, or family? Or you can search for professional help... They can maybe help you to collect your thoughts? It's not the good option to stop this life... We have to be strong, come on, you can do it!:smile: Talk with people.. Write when you feel bad, go out with people and try to have fun!

Good luck:hug:
 

raw

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#3
Hi Grotesque

I'm sorry you are feeling so badly. I think you will find many of the people at the forum understand the feelings you are having. They are extremely difficult to deal with, especially by yourself. I think you will find support here at the forum. The forum is all about mutual support.

Have you seen a therapist or looked into seeing a therapist? You may want to consider therapy. It tends to be a difficult road, but things improve. I hope you consider therapy.

Take Care

Rick
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
Get to a doctor hun PLEASE there is no need to suffer in silence..Scream for the help you need..but get it !!!
 

Grotesque

Well-Known Member
#5
I'm not worth any of this advice.
I'm a deceitful waste of ugly flesh that is mechinactly operated by razors, nails, and meds.
---
Last night.
I was in the shower.
I suddenly got really upset, the whole day sucked.
I sat and sobbed and then cut and cut thereafter.
i just layed there, moment after moment while water flooded my sight and i felt as though i was literally drowing in blood and hatred towards life and myself.
The thought of suicide working, but having an even worse afterlife is revolting.
i hate my parents.
if i was never born, none of this would have happened.
i would be in peace and would never have to worry about going into hell for ending my life.
God, i know this is so selfish.
I know selfish is only one of my flaws,
as lightning would pierce the night
pain strikes the unfortunant me. :sad:
 

TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#6
Well, I do know how you feel when you say that words on a forum cannot describe the pain you are feeling. I myself am able to get out of bed and whatnot, but I'll always know the painful realization of how fucking inferior I am to everyone I know and knows me, that I was raised wrong, that I continue to waste my life doing nothing, that I feel that everyone who has commited suicide should not have but only I should commit suicide and I keep wanting to get rid of the things that are keeping me from commiting suicide. Nobody listens to me, I don't make a fucking difference, nobody here cares about me or would miss me, but thats a good thing, I want to bring as little pain as possible if I do commit suicide.

And now look, I just kept talking about me, not you, I'm so selfish as well, damn it.
 

Grotesque

Well-Known Member
#7
*sighs* i think im going to start drugs because they seem to make people happy. i dont care about side effects.
and plus i cant be worse off really...lmao
 
J

jjustme

#8
oh please don't start using drugs! When you use drugs your depression will only getting worser and worser. you'll think it goes better but it don't... And then you can't stop anymore with the drugs, because you feel terrible without them... So please, don't start using drugs!
 
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