why won't the pain stop?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, Apr 24, 2012.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I very much need the courage to take my life because it is obvious it's not getting any better. I cannot take my family or the pain of a past rejection or other things anymore. i just want the pain to stop.
     
  2. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Your situation sounds like mine. And if people scoff at your post, don't listen to them. I know you deserve to feel the opposite of lonely, but life's BS can get in the way of that.
     
  3. blue

    blue Active Member

    I know the feeling. I'm sorry you are in pain, I hope you don't give up.
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Yes life can bring us down but instead of finding courage to die why not find it to fight your why through these challenges.I have before found the courage to die and it scared the crap out of me as i was out for a couple of days and there was nothing.I have figured if life is going to throw b/s at you its just another challenge and i figure you have to give it all your best and you will come out most times stronger willed and ready for the next challenge.Dont get me wrong we all have our down times and think everything is not worth it but ya fall down you have to get up again.
     
  5. idntknw

    idntknw New Member

    This is my take on it...sorry if it's not encouraging...

    I endure the darkness everyday...

    Depression is a real tangible thing. there's no easy "do this/think this/be more this/take this" answer because like most things in life, we understand very little about it and there is a huge spectrum of causes and manifestations. aside from this, there are scientifically measurable differences in the brains of those who suffer and those who do not. we don't know how or why, but it's a physical difference. we don't know how the mind works, but you can't pick and choose your science. telling someone who has a physical fuck up in their brain to just feel better and stop being a pussy is analogous to telling a blind man to open their eyelids and see, because i see, you must be able to see, you just don't want to see. it's misguided at best.
     
  6. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    You are right but there is no reason for not being able to help yourself and find ways and means to get yourself through this darkness.I know ppl dont know what my pain is like but i have to pick myself up sometimes.Nobody should be told just to get over it as that isnt a solution but with time you can learn to deal with it.I still have some of the darkest hours in my life and i have some good arguments with my councillors as im a stubborn prick when i m having one of those days.Yes we all different yet we all can challenge ourselfs to over come some things and with help.
     
  7. I kind of know the feeling. I don't want to die, but I want to hurt physically so that something will hurt more than I do emotionally. My husband ran off with another woman when I was 8 months pregnant and she is the scum of the Earth - he's not allowed to see me unless she can supervise. I have my little girl, but she is it. I've lost my job and my mother is dying of bone cancer.

    Since I was 14 I've been the backbone of my family and held us together by a tiny thread. Now with my world falling apart, I can't and they've scattered to the 4 corners. I don't know how much more I can take. Today, my husband announced he wants to marry his girlfriend and is filing for divorce as soon as he can. Which means that horrible person will by my dauther's stepmother. She takes pictures holding my baby and kissing her on the head as she sleeps and calls it "our kids" and shares it with his family on facebook.

    Please don't give up. There has to be something to live for and if everyone just gives up, why are we here to begin with?
     
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    Listen to what Spidy wrote. There is wisdom in these words.
     
  9. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I guess one of the biggest problems for me is feeling guilt that I am not where I had hoped to be in my life by now. And it doesn't help when you have a family that kind of scapegoats the shit out of you as if they did everything right. I just feel like a failure for so many different reasons.
     
  10. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Happens to the best of us im not where i want to be and i sometimes feel my age now wont let me but then i think b/s sometimes things dont go as planned and some things do get in the way but ive found i will get there and will prove mostly to myself i can do anything i put my heart and sole into and any doubters well then i ll show them too.What im trying to say believe in yourself and work on getting better and find your goal and strive for it no matter what road blocks come always ups and downs but to get over these is another part of your own strength
     
  11. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I believe I have chosen my method of taking my life, though I won't say how. I keep trying to make this pain go away but I can't and it seems like it will never fade. I hate life and I hate all the hurt that keeps me up at night and during the day. I know that other people here have it worse off than me, but that doesn't make my pain lessen or go away. I was thinking about the college I went to and how i long to go back, but it's been three years and I feel im too old and it;s too late. worse, there are too many obstacles I won't be able to get past. No matter what I try to do ( and I honestly do try), it won't get any better.
     
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